


Real or not real?

by Nickygp



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Jealous!Harry, M/M, Matchmaker!Roxy, Miscommunication, matchmaker!Merlin, oblivious!Eggsy, pining!Harry, pretending to be together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:04:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickygp/pseuds/Nickygp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Merlin gave him a cheeky wink before passing them the folders. "Your covers are in those folders. You will be going in as a married couple."</p><p>Harry froze, feeling his heart drop to his feet, his eyes widening as a flash of something Eggsy couldn't place crossed his face. "What?""</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A gentleman spy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyEmrys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEmrys/gifts).



> "Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.”  
> ― Sarah Cross
> 
> So this is dedicated to my muse WHO IS TO BLAME FOR BASICALLY EVERYTHING BECAUSE SHE WASN'T THERE TO REIGN ME IN
> 
> You can find two lovely edits made for this fic by tumblr user [takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin](http://takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin.tumblr.com/) [here](http://takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin.tumblr.com/post/127920756391/real-or-not-real-by-kingsmanhartwin-merlin-gave) and [here](http://takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin.tumblr.com/post/130077528751/real-or-not-real-by-kingsmanhartwin-harry)

Merlin looked at the two men sitting at the long table, files in hand. He adjusted his glasses as he scribbled something on his pad. 

"The mark will be going on a cruise," Merlin started, pulling up a picture of a huge boat that looked far too expensive for Eggsy's taste. "Your job is to keep him alive until the end of the week."

Harry frowned, sitting up straighter on the bed. "Who exactly is trying to kill him?" 

"A competitor," Merlin said simply, pilling up another file. "His security detail is one of the best, so he should be in good hands for most of the week."

"Then why the hell do you need us to-"

"There's a dinner on the fourth night there, where this man will be giving a speech. He'll be at his most vulnerable then, and you need to make sure that no one gets to him." Merlin said simply, passing the files he held in his hands to both Harry and Eggsy. "It would be better if you found his potential killer beforehand of course," Merlin drawled out.

"So, basically find the fucker and kill 'im before the dinner," said Eggsy leaning back against his chair. “Do we know anythin’ ‘bout the killer?”

“Yes, of what I’ve been able to find, the assassin they’ve hired is male, probably in his thirties, but we don’t know what he looks like,” Merlin murmured as he adjusted his glasses, looking between Harry and Eggsy, a glint of mischief in his eyes. 

“So how are we supposed to find ‘im?” Eggs said with a frown.

“You’re both spies, Eggsy. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Merlin gave him a cheeky wink before passing them the folders. "Your covers are in those folders. You will be going in as a married couple."

Harry froze, feeling his heart drop to his feet, his eyes widening as a flash of something Eggsy couldn't place crossed his face. " _What?_ "

—

Eggsy sauntered into  the room behind the young woman from the staff that had come to personally show them their room, the vallet trotting not far behind. The younger man stood tall and proud next to Harry, who had draped a possessive arm around the younger's middle the minute they had stepped a foot on the boat. Harry looked around the room, trying to not think about how good it felt to have Eggsy standing so close next to him, how good it felt to know that the receptionist thought they were married. 

He thought about it anyway.

Eggsy leaned into the touch, looking up at Harry like the man was a Christmas present he still couldn't quite believe he was lucky enough to have gotten. He brought his hand up to rest it again Harry’s broad chest, giving the man a loving smile that made harry’s breath hitch slightly.

Dear god, he needed to get a grip on himself. Here he was, not two minutes into the bloody mission and he was already getting as flustered as a school boy just because Eggsy had smiled at him with that beautiful smile that had ensnared Harry months ago.

Harry rubbed Eggsy's hip as the younger man raised himself on his tip toes, giving Harry a chaste peck that felt far too good and far too natural for Harry to not feel a bit guilty about it. 

The younger woman turned to look at the pair, her eyes gleaming the same way single people's eyes gleam when looking at a happy couple. She did this every year - it was part of her job to butter up those that screamed money and power - but never, in all her years working with the cruise company, had she seen a couple so besotted. It was kind of cute to see the older man look at the other like he was his own personal sun. 

She felt pang of jealousy; everyone deserved to be looked that way by someone.

"So this is your room," she said unnecessarily as she showcased the room with a wave of her arm. "Breakfast hours are from seven am to eleven, lunch is from one thirty to three thirty and dinner opens at eight until midnight." 

"Is it open-bar all day long?" Harry asked. If he was going to get through this bloody mission without embarrassing himself too much he was going to need _a lot_ of alcohol. 

The young woman nodded, giving him a curious nod, before pointing towards a large, wooden desk. "You'll find the wifi password on the notepad over there."

Harry looked at the beautiful table, losing himself for a second to the image of Eggsy naked and panting, splayed open on that table, begging for Harry to hurry up and fuck him. 

He snapped his eyes closed, digging his nails into his palm as he stopped that train of thought with an iron fist. What the bloody hell was wrong with him? His infatuation - because Harry refused to call it what it really was - with Eggsy was starting to get out of control. 

"'Arry?" Eggsy murmured as he squeezed Harry's arm, a tinge of worry in his voice. 

"I'm fine," the older man murmured, giving Eggsy a comforting smile and a wink. "Just a little migraine, you know how it is," Harry lied through his teeth.

While it was true ever since V-Day he got horrible migraines that were sometimes bad enough to knock him out, right now he was feeling fine. A bit more than fine - which was exactly the problem. 

"Would you like some advil, sir?" The young woman said immediately.

"No, thank you," Harry said with a polite smile. "I'll be fine soon enough. There's no need to worry. In fact, I do believe we've taken enough of your time."

The woman gave him a dubious look before nodding and turning to the door. "Room service starts at nine am, and the pool opens at nine as well. You have a spa menu right next to the notepad, in case you want to schedule a massage. Most of them are couples massages which are all very good-"

"Thank you," Eggsy murmured, cutting her little spiel short.”We’ll call if we need something else.” He quickly closed the door behind her turning to look at Harry. “Ok, you can stop pretending now, how bad is it?”

Harry felt lost for a second, before he remembered the headache. “It’s really not that bad, Eggsy.” Harry stepped closer, squeezing Eggsy’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’m just going to take a shower, and I’m sure I’ll feel better afterwards.”

The young man nodded, clearly not convinced by Harry’s weak excuses, but Harry couldn’t be bothered by that right now. He really did need a shower. He needed to put some distance between himself and Eggsy at the moment, for he wasn’t sure how much more he could take without blurting everything out and that wasn’t something he could do, not unless he wanted to ruin his relationship with Eggsy. 

Christ, when had he become such a sentimental fool? He was to act like Eggsy’s husband for the rest of the bloody week. The last thing he was going to have was space. He needed to get his shit together. He was a gentleman spy for fuck’s sake, he could clamp the fuck down on those feelings that were most certainly not welcomed nor reciprocated by Eggsy.

Yes, he was a gentleman spy. He had this. He was going to get through the week and it was going to be fucking _fine._  

—————-

Harry took a long look in the mirror, letting the warm water drip from his jaw as the mirror cleared. He touched his cheeks,  letting his eyes linger on the laugh lines and the few crinkles on his eyes that were more visible with each passing year. He had to admit, he had aged rather gracefully, but that did not changed the fact that he had still aged. Yes, he still turned faces everywhere he went, but that could also have to do with the not so small scar on his temple that had been Valentine's parting gift.

He had never been one to fret about aging. Maturing and dying was a part of life that he was used to - comfortable with even, especially given his line of work. But now... Age was a painful reminder of why exactly he couldn't simply turn to the fair haired young man who had stolen his heart and court him. 

It wasn't that he was squeamish about sleeping with someone younger than him - he had done so countless times - the problem was that Eggsy deserved so much better. The younger man had his whole life ahead of him. He had decades yet to fall in love, to face heartbreak, to find comfort in the embrace of some nameless man that Harry would undoubtedly hate simply because of the fact that they got to touch Eggsy and he didn't. 

There was nothing Harry could offer him, no way of tying Eggsy to him without holding the younger man back - something Harry simply refused to do.  

"'Arry?" Eggsy murmured, barging into the bathroom without bothering to knock. 

Harry raised a brow at him, trying to hide a fond smile that threatened to make an appearance. "I'm starting to think you don't knock out of spite."

Eggsy grinned at him, tilting his head to the side. "Oh, c'mon 'arry, s'not like yeh care anyway." 

Harry shook his head, finally letting his smile bloom as he turned to face Eggsy. "What can I do for you Eggsy?" 

"We gotta go," he said as he indicated his watch. “Breakfast closes soon, and I wanna eat sumthin’”

Harry nodded, stifling a chuckle before undoing the knot of his robe to to shrug it off. 

Eggsy felt his throat go dry as a bare chested Harry Hart hung his robe, his muscles flexing deliciously as he did so. Eggsy realized distantly that this was the first time he saw Harry without a shirt - and by god, the man looked _beautiful_.

 Eggsy had known of course that Harry was fit. It wasn't exactly hard to miss with the tailored shirts the man wore, but not even his shirts could do justice to the mouthwatering pecs Harry had. He cleared his throat, looking away quickly. He was pretty sure Harry wouldn't appreciate it if Eggsy would get a hard on right before a mission just because he had gotten a look at Harry's broad back. He would probably creep the man out. 

“Um, so Imma let yeh get dressed and I’ll wait for yeh outside” Eggs said, opening the door and escaping the room as fast as his feet could carry him. 

Harry sighed, leaning against the counter as he took a deep breath, the scent of Eggsy’s cologne still lingering in the room.

Harry wasn’t a man that complained often, not to those close to him, nor to any deities that he knew of. His father had always taught him that a man had to be tough - that he had to roll with everything life threw at him. And, while he had learned later in life that his father wasn’t exactly correct with that assessment, he was used to following said advise. Still, he thought it was fair to curse at fate - or at least at Merlin - this time for so royally fucking him over. 

Not only did he have to live with a terrible love he couldn’t breathe a word of to anyone, but now he also had to pretend to be Eggsy’s husband for an entire _week._


	2. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'll pretend, I tell myself. Pretending is safer than believing."
> 
> -Sarah Mille

Harry approached the small counter, a polite smile plastered on his face. He could feel how near Eggsy was to him and it was driving him mad. It was horrible to be this close to the object of his affections without being able to touch, to _take_.

“Table for two, please,” Harry said softly, looking at the young man standing at the counter straight in the eye.

He blushed for a second as he met Harry’s piercing eyes, the younger man's eyes darkening slightly as he looked at the older man’s beautiful features.

“Of course, follow me,” he said, holding back a squeak when Harry stepped right behind him as they made their way down the hallway.

Harry seemed to be oblivious to the boy's reaction, too preoccupied with keeping his expression carefully blank as he watched Eggsy from the corner of his eye. God, he really hated Merlin right now.

The young man left the pair at the table, giving Eggsy a jealous look as he stepped away to call their waiter. Harry watched him go, forcing himself not to stiffen when he felt Eggsy place his hand on top of his own, the younger man's fingers tracing small patters on the back of his hand.

Harry suppressed a wanton shiver, giving Eggsy a doting smile that was far too real and far too revealing for comfort. Hopefully Eggsy wouldn't read too much into Harry's actions, especially since he seemed to be unable to fully control himself around Eggsy. Hopefully the younger man would just assume this was Harry pretending for the mission, and not Harry offering him his heart on a silver platter for Eggst to crush swiftly and rotundly.

God, he really hoped Eggsy didn't realize. He wouldn't be able to bear to see the look of disgust that was sure to appear if he knew the extent of Harry's feelings. Seeing that look once - when they fought in Harry's bathroom before he left for Kentucky - had been more than enough to last him a lifetime. He still had nightmares about that look.

"Hi, my name is Allan, and I'll be your waiter this morning," said a blond, young man who smiled at the two when he saw their linked hands. "Can I start you off with some drinks?"

"I think we'll start with two glasses of orange juice," Harry said immediately, his eyes never leaving Eggsy's. God, he could spend hours looking at Eggsy's eyes without getting tired. The younger man had such expressive eyes, it was truly exhilarating to see.

The man briefly wondered how bad it would look if he ordered a glass of scotch to take off the edge. He wasn't sure how else to get through the day.

Eggsy's eyes showed a sickening amount of love as he stared right at Harry, feeling luckier than he had in years. He knew Harry was just pretending, but fuck if the man was anything but convincing. He had never felt this cherished in his life. Guilt and shame tugged at his heart, burning Eggsy's conscience for taking advantage of the situation. He didn't deserve to pretend Harry wanted him that way when Eggsy knew for a fact that he didn't.

But then again, it was only a week, and if he basked in Harry's attentions a bit more than necessary well no one needed to know, and it wasn't like Harry was going to realize, right? It was their job after all.

The waiter came back soon enough, leaving the two glasses of juice on the table before taking their order. The young waiter suddenly looked to the side, his eyes turning ice cold as he took in the man sitting on the table next to the one he was serving who, unbeknownst to Harry and Eggsy, had been glaring daggers at the pair for a few minutes now.

The waiter turned back to look at the two gentlemen sitting at the table. "I'm so sorry about that," he said in a hushed tone. "He's one of the patrons here but he doesn't like.... well he only likes traditional couples," the young man whispered, blushing with shame. "If you'd like I can move you to another table."

Eggsy's eyes flashed with a dangerous glint that Harry knew only too well as he looked at the man from the corner of his eye. The younger man felt blinding fury rise inside of him. If there was one thing that got him into a right fit was homophobic prics, especially after having lived with Dean for so long.

It had taken him so many years to accept that what he wasn't a freak, that the stirrings of want he had felt ever since he was fourteen when he looked at attractive men was okay, that he didn't have to hide in some dingy bathroom to get what he wanted. He had promised himself, years ago, that he would never again let people like the asshole sitting next to him make him feel bad for who he was. He had also promised himself to never back off from a challenge.

And so Eggsy suddenly moved his chair closer to Harry's, giving the man a sweet smile as he took a sip from his glass. He felt a bit bad about not warning Harry given what he was about to do, but he hoped the man would understand.

Eggsy swallowed the gulp of juice he had taken, drowning with it the shame of feeling so excited about the prospect of touching Harry, of kissing him, even if his ultimate goal was to piss off the other man. If he was honest to himself, pissing off the man was the actual cherry on top, not showing the world how much he loved Harry.

God, he was _so_ fucked.

Harry felt his mouth go dry as Eggsy's eyes twinkled with mischief. He could see the twerks whirling in the younger man's head, formulating a macabre plan that would surely send Harry into an early grave.

"I think we're good here," Eggsy murmured, giving the waiter a wink before he leaned back, leaving plenty of room for the man sitting at the other table to look at his and Harry's linked hands.

Harry felt a pang of pain as he looked at his glass of juice. It hurt more than he dared say to be used by Eggsy simply to get back at an idiotic man they would probably never see again, to be used in a meaningless farse when his feelings for Eggsy were anything but.

Still, he was willing to do anything for the younger man, even if it hurt him, even if it killed him. And so Harry raised their linked hands, kissing Eggsy's knuckles, feeling his lips burn where they had touched Eggsy's precious skin.

Eggsy's breath hitched and his eyes darkened as he swallowed hard. Fuck this had been an awful idea. He should have known he wouldn't be able to keep a straight face when Harry acted like this. He loved the man too much to hide his feelings properly.

 _Fuck_.

The waiter came back with Harry's scrambled eggs and Eggsy's omelette, giving them once again an apologetic smile, hoping that the man sitting behind them would leave soon. He really didn't want the poor couple to have to deal with a scene.

Eggsy thanked the waiter and picked up his fork, immediately taking a bite from Harry's plate which elicited a chuckle from the older man.

"Good?" Harry asked in a teasing tone, picking up his own fork. He brought a mouthful to his lips, elegantly closing his lips around the fork.

Eggsy stared at Harry's mouth as the man chewed, trying his best to remember what was it that Harry had asked him, but finding that Harry's mouth was far too distracting for him to do anything but _stare_.

Harry raised a brow at him, his lips twitching as he scrambled to understand what Eggsy was trying to do. Was this all a ruse? What was going through the younger man's head?

Eggsy stared for another second before finally thinking _fuck it._

They were supposed to be a couple anyway, right?

"You have something on your lip," Eggsy said in his best posh accent, grabbing the nape of Harry's neck and bringing the man closer. He kissed Harry, feeling his very cells sing in pleasure as Harry's breath hitched.

Harry's brain went completely offline, acting simply on instinct as he began sucking on Eggsy's lower lip.

"For fuck's sake, get a room you perverts," grunted the man, who looked purple in the face with rage.

Eggsy felt his blood boil as he turned around to face the man. This fucking prick had interrupted their fucking lovely kiss.

Eggsy wasn't sure what he wanted more; to break the man's face or just shoot him in the balls.

"Excuse me?" Eggsy said softly, his eyes as calm as a clear night. It was the same calmness he presented whenever he was about to lay waste to anything and everything that has on his way.

"You heard me," the man growled. "If you can't eat like normal people then leave."

"Funny how I don't see you complaining to those people" Eggsy said, pointing at another couple sitting a few tables away. "They've been snogging each other for the past ten minutes-"

That just made the man angrier. He stood up in an instant, fisting his hands. "You will leave my restaurant, right now."

Before Eggsy could say anything else, Harry stood up, a glint of cold, murderous rage lighting up his eyes. "Do you realize who you're speaking to?"

The man seemed confused for a second, his stance becoming defensive. "I'm speaking to a pair of brutes who clearly can't control themselves."

Harry sneered, cocking his head to the side as he stepped away from the table. "I would suggest you do your homework next time before speaking to a customer in such a way, especially when that customer is the owner of one of the largest firms in the stock market - a firm that owns this cruise line - and who is a personal advisor to the Prime Minister."

The man looked dumbfounded for a moment, the gravity of the situation dawning on him. "You're lying."

Harry chuckled, a cold, hard chuckle that had made greater men cower behind others. "I have no reason to lie," Harry said softly, offering Eggsy his hand. "Come, my darling, I refuse to eat at such an establishment." Harry gave the man one last look before murmuring. "You'll get a call sometime tonight. I'll let Ariana know that your services are no longer needed. She will not be renewing your contract for the next cruise."

Eggsy followed Harry out, feeling extremely proud of himself for not letting his jaw drop until they were out of view. "Oh my god 'arry, was that a bluff or are yeh serious?"

Harry sighed, stopping to look at Eggsy in the eye. "I do personally own a firm, although it's more of a family business that I refuse to take part in, and - as Arthur- the prime minister does ask for advice constantly."

Eggsy continued gaping, not sure what he was supposed to say, until he suddenly blurted out "so I'm married to a _really_ posh bastard."

Harry chuckled, his gaze suddenly turning sad. "Well, did you at least achieve your goal with upsetting the man?"

Eggsy grinned at Harry, nodding shyly before linking his arm with Harry's. "Yes, I did. Thank you, 'arry," he said softly, looking at the man earnestly.

Harry gave Eggsy a tense smile as they began walking, looking away to keep Eggsy from seeing the sadness in his eyes.

So it had all been a ruse after all. Well, at least Eggsy was happy now. He could live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be eight chapters. This was supposed to be my short fic....
> 
> Not anymore (ooops)


	3. Dance with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss a lover  
> Dance a measure,  
> Find your name  
> And buried treasure...
> 
> Face your life  
> Its pain,  
> Its pleasure,  
> Leave no path untaken.”  
> ― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

Eggsy sat down on one of the comfortable couches set in the small parlor that was adjacent to his and Harry’s outrageously large room - really who even made rooms that big when they were in a fucking _boat_ \- and turned to look at Harry as he took a bite from the sandwich Harry had bought for him on their way to their room. 

The man made no signs to have noticed Eggsy’s lingering gaze, probably because he was so engrossed in whatever it was that he was checking on his ipad. 

In truth, Harry wasn’t all that interested in what he was reading, not to mention his mind keep wondering off, going back every time to the way he had kissed Eggsy back at the restaurant. 

God, it had been almost an hour and he still couldn’t breathe past the pulsating pain accosting his heart that had stemmed from the knowledge that it was all a ruse. 

He cleared his throat, rereading the first paragraph of the mark's file for the eight time. He scrunched his eyes closed, throwing the ipad to the side, knowing all to well when a cause was lost. 

"You, a'right?" Eggsy said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Hmm? Yes, fine," Harry replied quickly, not meeting Eggsy's eyes. "We'll need to follow the mark's schedule to the letter as it'll be the only way to insure his safety until we find out who the assassin is."

Eggsy nodded, sitting up straight. "So what's the schedule for today?" 

"Uh," Harry picked up the ipad again, quickly rereading the schedule. "He has three meetings today, apparently, so he won't be needing us, but he has a dinner at one of the restaurants here."

 "So we're goin' out on a date tonight?" Eggsy said, giving Harry a cheeky wink. He felt his heart flutter at the prospect as he shushed the part of his brain that kept pointing out that this was simply a mission and Harry did not want to go out with Eggsy like that. 

Harry felt a light blush creep up his cheeks, his heart clenching with want at the idea of him and Eggsy going out together as a couple; a naive, foolish dream that only served to cut his already wounded soul. He forced himself to smile at Eggsy as he murmured "precisely", getting up quickly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to set up the security feed on a few of the floors. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Do yeh want me to go with ya?" Eggsy asked, getting up immediately. There was something about Harry that was off, something had bothered him about what Eggsy had said but for the life of him he couldn't tell what it was.

"No, no there's no need," Harry said with a small smile, squeezing Eggsy's shoulder before brushing past him.

As much as he craved Eggsy's company, he needed a moment to recenter himself, to grieve and let go, to try to put the lid back on on the dangerous feelings trying to consume him. 

Eggsy nodded, his face falling immediately. 

He waited for Harry to close the door behind him to plop back down on the couch, rubbing his temples for a second. He took out his phone, quickly sending a text to Roxy.

_ You free to facetime? - E _

The reply came almost immediately.

_ Yeah, sure, just give me 10. Is everything ok? - R _

_ I don't know - E _

Eggsy gave a relieved sigh as his phone vibrated in his hand, smiling softly as Roxy's face came into view. 

"Hey Rox," Eggsy said, leaning down on the couch. Burying half his face on the pillow. 

She smiled at him, waving quickly as she sat down on her bed, opening a bag of pretzels. "Ok, so what's up?"

Eggsy chuckled, giving his friend an offended look. "I was just callin' to say hi ya know?"

"No you were not," she laughed, popping a pretzel into her mouth. "You're on a mission with Harry, the last thing you would think about is calling to catch up." 

Eggsy flushed, half glaring at her. "Can yeh be more discreet? What of Harry woula been in the room, eh?"

She frowned. "Are you even listening to me, Eggsy? You wouldn't have called unless something was up, and you would _never_  have called if Harry was next to you. We both know you'd be too busy staring at him like you want to shag his brains out."

Eggsy flushed even redder. "Will ya stop? I do not look at him like that," he said defensively, looking away. 

"Yes you do!" She laughed, half pitying her friend, but in all honestly Eggsy knew by now that Roxy was not one to beat around the bushes.

"Ok, ok yeh win. I did call to talk about sumthin'" he grumbled, burrowing his head on the pillow. 

Roxy smiled smugly at him bending her legs and crossing them as she leaned back against the bed. "I'm listening-"

"A'right, so me and Harry gotta pretend to be married right? But like I dunno how to-" he sighed, trying to think of how to explain his distressing thoughts He sat up, sitting against the armrest of the couch. "I dunno how comfortable 'arry is with all this, Rox. I don't think he likes it, and I don't wanna-" he bit his lip, looking down. "I don't wanna make things awkward between us 'cause of a mission ya know?" Eggsy's eyes turned sad.

He didn't know how else to explain it to his friend. He couldn't lose Harry, especially not because of this. He loved the man too much. Harry had been there for him ever since he had picked him up from that dingy police station. He had cared for Eggsy, and had showed him that he could do better, that he could be better. He had believed in him when no one else had. The man had been nothing but a gentleman to Eggsy, always making sure he was comfortable, that he was happy, that he was safe. And while he had gone and screwed it all up by falling in love with the brilliant man, that did not mean Harry had done the same. It was obvious he cared for Eggsy - a fool could see that - but Eggsy knew that Harry could never see him the way he wanted the man to see him, and that was okay. 

 He would rather have the man in his life in some way than not have him at all. 

Roxy sighed, giving him an exasperated look. "Eggsy, you do realize Harry is an agent? He knows very well what the mission entails. It's not like he hasn't done stuff like this before."

Eggsy's eyes suddenly snapped back to the screen, feeling his body go numb.

Of course the man had done this before. 

How many other men and women had Harry had to pretend to love? How many others had the man smiled at as if they were his whole world? How many others had he kissed?

Eggsy felt sick.

"Eggsy are you alright? " Roxy said, her eyes turning worried. "No, wait, Eggsy, that's not what I meant. I-" 

"It's okay, Roxy. Yeh don't hafta explain. Yeh are right. He's done this before. I'm just another mission"

Roxy suddenly looked angry. "That's not true, Gary Unwin, Harry cares a lot about you. You would _never_ be just a mission to him," she snapped. "Look, Eggsy, if you are really worried about it just act professional when you don't have to pretend. Don't make it into a big deal, just act normal. Give him some space and it'll be fine."

"Right," Eggsy said, his voice distant. He couldn't look at Roxy. He wasn't sure why he was feeling so sad, so... angry. "Um, I should probably go, Rox. 'Arry will be back soon." 

She sighed, giving her friend an apologetic glance. "Stop overthinking things, Eggsy. You'll give yourself a headache."

He chuckled mirthlessly, shaking his head softly. "Have a good day, Rox."

"You too, Eggsy," she said, waving goodbye.

The young man put away his phone, falling back down in the couch. 

He closed his eyes, distantly dreading the coming dinner. 

\----------------- 

Both men sat at the dimwit table, right next to the - currently - empty dance floor. They had been stuck at the blasted restaurant for the past hour and a half, as the mark chatted up a lovely young, dark skinned woman who obviously came from money. The mark had made sure to take his wedding ring off, which just annoyed Harry. He was rather tempted to just get up and politely tell the young woman that the fucking prick that was courting her only wanted her for her beauty, and nothing else. But then again, he was pretty sure the young lady could take care of herself - or at least, she _would_ take care of herself once she found out the truth. 

Harry fixed the cufflinks of his suit, picking up his glass of red wine as he turned to look at Eggsy. 

The younger man looked absolutely _exquisite_ tonight _._ The dark suit he had on - which, unbeknownst to Eggsy, Harry had personally picked a few days before they had had to leave for the mission. 

He was starting to regret his choice. Eggsy looked _too_ good in the suit. It was physically painful having to keep his hands to himself when he could feel Eggsy's leg brush against his every so often. 

He cleared his throat as he looked away, surveying the room with wary eyes. 

Right, the mission. They were here for a mission. 

Suddenly, the band started playing, the song filling the room with warmth. Couples all around them started getting up, smiling as Frank Sinatra's vibrant song rushes them to their feet. 

Harry felt his hands itch, feeling more uncomfortable than he had all day. He knew the song well, and he cursed at whoever it was that had chosen it. 

Still, he couldn't help but feel the, by now well known, stirrings of want wake up inside of him. He _wanted_ to dance with Eggsy. He wanted people to see the young man in his arms and feel jealous that he was in Harry's arms and no one else's.

_I will feel a glow just thinking of you_

Suddenly he got up, offering Eggsy his hand before he could think better of it. They were a married couple after all. It was only normal that he wanted to dance with his husband. 

_And the way you look tonight_

Eggsy seemed surprise for a second before taking Harry's hand, smiling at the man as he led them to the dancing floor. He placed his hand on Eggsy's waist, bringing him infinitely closer as he clasped the younger man's other hand.  

_Yes, you're lovely_

_With your smile so warm_

Eggsy smiled, placing his own hand on Harry's shoulder. Following Harry's lead with incredible ease. He looked into the man's eyes, his breath hitching at the warmth he found there. 

_There is nothing for me but to love you_

_And the way you look tonight_

Harry twirled them around, losing himself in the beauty of Eggsy's smile. 

_And that laugh wrinkles your nose_

_It touches my foolish heart_

He felt his heart flutter as Eggsy laughed when he picked up the pace, following the beat of the song. The younger man was a natural, moving as if he knew exactly what Harry was planning to do next.

_Lovely, don't you ever change_

_Keep that breathless charm_

They communicated silently, just like they had mastered when on missions, Eggsy getting his cues from the way Harry blinked or the way his eyes flickered, the way he moved Eggsy's hand. 

_'Cause I love you_

_Just the way you look tonight_

"God, you are beautiful," Harry blurted out in a hushed tone, inching closer unconsciously. 

Eggsy blushed, looking away from Harry's intense gaze, feeling the need to kiss the man, to get on his knees and show him just how beautiful he could be. 

_This isn't real_ he told himself _he's just doing his job._

But, fuck, how he wanted it to be real.

Neitherone of the two men noticed when the song ended as the band immediately started playing another song. It took Harry a few moments to realize that the rhythm had changed, but he adjusted accordingly, not yet willing to let Eggsy go. 

_It's the last dance, we've come to the last dance_

Harry pressed Eggsy's hand against his chest, his steps becoming slower and slower as the song engulfed them. Eggsy let out a shaky breath, knowing he should probably step away now, he should probably make a joke and try to laugh it off, because he could feel the stirrings of want in his loins, he could feel the way his heart was trembling in his chest. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep himself from blurting out his feelings if they didn’t stop now. 

_They're dimming the lights down, they're hoping we'll go._

Eggsy swallowed hard, trying - and failing - to look away. Harry had never looked at him like this and it hurt to the bone. 

_It's obvious they're aware of us, the pair of us, alone on the floor_

It hurt to know that Harry could act so well, that he could sell the idea that they were together so well when Eggsy’s feelings were anything but a lie. 

Suddenly, Eggsy froze, watching as the mark left the room, a young woman that was definitely not his wife at his side. Eggsy blushed, his gaze downcast as the doors closed behind the man. 

He wondered briefly if Harry would let him go after the song was over now that the mark was gone? Would he do it nicely? Would he try to spare Eggsy’s feelings? 

God, he couldn’t bear it. 

“The mark just left,” Eggsy said softly, not meeting Harry’s eyes. Roxy had said to be professional. He could do that. He could let Harry know that it was okay, that he didn’t have to worry about telling eggs no. He could do this, for Harry. 

Harry froze, his face falling for a second before he was able to regain his composure. He had forgotten himself while dancing with Eggsy. For a moment nothing had mattered but Eggsy and the fact that he was in Harry’s arms.For a terrible moment his treacherous feelings had gotten the best of him, but the illusion had been shattered; this was all a mission to the younger man, nothing more than his job. 

Christ, Harry had probably made Eggsy uncomfortable, what with holding him so close. 

He looked away for a moment, shame and sorrow battling inside of him.It was simply unacceptable of him to be so lost in his own desires to not see wha was right in front of him. 

“We should head back to our room,” Harry said distantly, not daring to look back at Eggsy. 

He stepped away, quickly moving back to his table to pay the bill. His hands felt cold and his body hollow. His reaction was irrational, he knew, but then again, unrequited love could break a man.

 He distantly hoped that the younger man wasn’t a light sleeper; then Harry would be able to sneak out of the room, and drink his torments away in peace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, these two pining idiots....
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> P.S the two songs I used are "The way you look tonight" and "The last Dance" both by Frank Sinatra


	4. I don't want to wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in the same bed can be... interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
> So toss me out and turn in  
> And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
> I'm marking it down to learning  
> \- Matchbox Twenty

Eggsy woke up with a start, sighing with contentment as he buried his face in the pillow.The bed felt warmer than usual, and he felt more relaxed than he’d been all week. The arm - or what he assumed was an arm - wrapped around his middle squeezed him tighter, pulling him closer to the source of warmth with ridiculous ease. 

Eggsy went willingly, nuzzling back into the warmth, never once opening his eyes. There was a lovely smell - smoke, tea leaves, cinnamon, and honey - coming from somewhere behind him that made him moan softly as he turned around, leaning in closer to the source of the smell. He took a deep breath, feeling his body relax even further into the bed as he smiled faintly; it smelled like _home -_ if that was even a smell. 

Eggsy leaned in even closer, feeling a tingling of surprise when his nose brushed a patch of soft skin. His eyes snapped open as he tried to shake his sleep addled brain. This wasn’t a dream. Hell, this wasn’t even his bed. He was actually awake, with his nose pressed against Harry’s neck, on a bed in a cruise that was sailing a piece of the Atlantic .

_For fuck’s sake._  

The younger man stilled, praying to the  high heavens that Harry wouldn’t wake up anytime soon. He pulled away slightly, very much aware of the calloused hand pressed against the small of his back. 

The younger man swallowed hard as Harry shifted on the bed, the man’s leg brushing against his own. Eggsy stifled a moan as Harry’s hands dipped lower, feeling the ghost of a touch against his bum. 

_God, how he wanted to press against that faint touch._

Eggsy’s pulse quickened as his cock filled with blood at the thought of Harry touching him because he _wanted_ to. He could imagine how good it would feel if the man pressed him hard against the bed and just _kissed_ him. 

Eggsy gasped, quickly freeing himself from Harry’s light hold, careful not to wake the older man. He managed to get to the other end of the bed, panting softly as more and more utterly _filthy_ images flooded his mind. 

He got up in silence, his brow dripping sweat. He looked back at the bed,stopping dead in his tracks as he took in the image of Harry asleep on the bed. The man’s face was slack, a tender, peaceful air softening his features. His lashes were long and beautiful, even more prominent from the angle Eggsy was staring. The man’s thin, pink lips were slightly parted, making Eggsy’s groin twitch with desire. The covers, which were pooled at his middle, revealed a simple, tight, grey shirt that left little to the imagination. 

In other words, Harry looked _breathtaking_.

Eggsy turned away, all but running to the bathroom, his heart pounding in his chest. His cheeks burned with shame as he quickly stripped. Fuck, he had only needed to look at Harry to get hard; that was a new low even for him. Eggsy looked at himself in the mirror - flushed and panting - and moaned, picturing Harry coming in through the wooden door, his eyes dark with lust. 

He gabbed the sink with both hands, his knuckles turning white due to the strength with which he was holding on. 

How much further would he sink in his want for harry? How much more of this mission would he be able to take? He didn’t just _want_ Harry; He _loved_ him, and he’d rather get shot multiple times than face another day of Harry pretending to love him when Eggsy knew he didn’t. 

Fuck, now he wasn’t sure what hurt more; the erection he was sporting or the ache in his heart that would not leave him, no matter what he did. 

He opened the shower faucets, quickly stepping into the cold water, shaking as the cold water hit him like a ton of bricks. 

He forced himself to remain under the shower for a few moments, half hoping that the water would cleanse his mind from his lust riddled thoughts. Still, after three minutes of _freezing_ under the spray, Eggsy conceded defeat, and turned the hot water on. 

He felt his body relax gradually as the water warmed, the steam clouding the glass door that divided the shower from the bathroom. He touched himself tentatively, gasping loudly as his now very sensitive prick twitched in his hand. 

He supported himself against the glass door, picturing - with no small sense of guilt - Harry standing behind him, mouthing at his ear. 

_touch yourself for me, Eggsy_

Eggsy gasped as Harry’s image became clearer and clearer in his head. He could practically feel the man’s warmth. Harry could touch his back, trace patterns on his skin before squeezing his arse, touching it like he _owned_ it. 

Eggsy moaned again, biting his lower lip for fear of Harry waking up because of him. He reached back, teasing at his entrance with his index finger, gasping when his finger caught in the rim. He did it again, picturing Harry’s hand instead of his, teasing him open. He could feel the man’s soft smile, worried about whether or not Eggsy was comfortable. Harry would be so caring, so giving, Eggsy just knew it. 

 Eggsy continued teasing his entrance, not daring to actually push a finger inside without lube. He synced his movements to his wild, erratic thrusts, groaning loudly as his eyes fluttered closer, waves of pleasure crashing down on him, leaving him breathless. 

He sighed as he came down from his orgasmic high, his eyes sad. 

Well at least him wanking to thoughts of Harry wouldn’t hurt anyone so long as no one knew. 

——————————————

Harry jolted awake as the sound of the shower being turned on filtered the room. He looked around the room,feeling a pang of sadness when he realized Eggsy was nowhere to be found. His eyes found the closed bathroom door and he sighed; so the younger man had already decided to get up. 

Harry looked at the watch sitting on the nightstand, his heart stuttering to a painful halt. It was not even eight yet. He knew for a fact that Eggsy was _not_ a morning person, and yet the young man had decided it was better to _leave_ the bed than to stay a minute longer sleeping there with Harry. 

Harry closed his eyes, counting his shallow breaths as he tried to regain some semblance of control over his despairing heart. He could feel something deep inside him shattering to a million pieces, a whirlwind of shame, guilt, rage, and longing battling inside of him, tearing his insides apart. 

He clenched his hands as his eyes burned.

Oh fate was a cruel mistress. Of course it would make it so that Harry would fall head over heels for the one person he would never have, and then it could rub the wound harshly by sending Harry on a mission where he was allowed to touch with the full knowledge that it was all a lie. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed there on the bed, too emotionally exhausted to move. He could feel his scarred heart cracking, breaking at the seams. He wasn’t quite sure how much longer it would stay together. 

He just hoped to be alone when it did shatter. Eggsy didn’t deserve to see that. Harry’s problems weren’t Eggsy’s to solve. 

The young man suddenly came out of the bathroom, with only a towel covering his lower body. His skin was stil flushed from the shower, and his hair was mussed, tiny droplets falling from said hair to run down his well defined chest. 

Harry felt his mouth go dry, desire over a year old burning his throat. It did not matter that he knew Eggsy didn’t want him. It did not matter that - logically speaking - he would never pursue the younger man; his body had other ideas. 

He wanted Eggsy as badly as an alcoholic wants a drink. His body burned overtime he laid eyes on the younger man. Harry practically lived in a state of arousal at this point. 

But, worse still, he _loved_ the boy.He loved him more than he loved himself. His heart throbbed with a love he would have to take with him to the grave. 

He stood up, still breathless at the image of Eggsy - who had not moved from the doorway since he had gotten out of the bathroom. 

“I thought yeh were still asleep,” he said unnecessarily, blushing at his own ineloquence. 

“I was,” Harry replied kindly as he stood up, his eyes sadder than Eggsy had ever seen. He moved to stand in front of Eggsy, his eyes now looking equal parts tortured and resigned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I think it is my turn to take a shower.”

“Right,” Eggsy whispered, trying to figure out why Harry looked so utterly miserable. 

The man walked past him, not looking back as he closed the door. Harry leaned against the bathroom door for a few seconds, before he pushed himself away to open the faucet. 

He refused to dwell over the issue any more than necessary. It was time he moved on and gave Eggsy the space he deserved. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, you get chapter 4 today ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	5. I'm his husband, actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves.”  
> ― Joseph Addison

Eggsy looked down at his scrambled eggs, still not quite able to meet Harry’s eyes. He wasn’t sure he was ready to pretend everything was fine just yet, not when he had just wanked to thoughts of Harry less than an hour ago. He wasn’t sure his mind and body had reconnected after his orgasm, and he was dreadfully afraid to blurt something out such as _you look sinfully good in that white shirt and khakis so why don’t you bend me over the table and fuck me_ because really that wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have with Harry.

The older man looked over at Eggsy for what felt like the umpteenth time, his eyes turing sadder and sadder with each passing second. Eggsy had not even looked at him since they had left the room, keeping to himself for the most part. 

Harry held back a sigh. It was obvious that either _he_ had done something to make Eggsy uncomfortable or the situation itself was making the young man uncomfortable, and Harry wasn’t sure which hurt him more. Had it been because he had held him so close last night while they were dancing? 

While he would never be able to forgive himself if he had indeed made Eggsy uncomfortable, his very soul ached at the thought of Eggsy being uncomfortable at the mere _thought_ of being with Harry - not that the older man had ever expected any different. 

Still, whether Eggsy liked it or not they _were_ on a bloody mission, and his current attitude wasn’t exactly helping paint the picture of a happy married couple. Harry finally let out a sigh, signaling to their waiter to bring him the check. He refused to spend a minute longer in the blasted restaurant with Eggsy looking so utterly depressed.   

“Where are we goin’?” The younger man asked immediately, noticing the movement of Harry’s hand with the corner of his eye. 

“We’re leaving,” Harry said tensely, his tone far too polite. 

“Is everythin’ a’right?” Eggsy said, trying not to show how much Harry’s tone hurt. The man never talked to him like that. There was always some warmth in the man’s voice, a smile hidden there just for Eggsy. Harry always talked to him almost indulgently, letting his sarcasm and wit bleed through, as well as his happiness and excitement. 

The only times Harry’s tone became overtly stiff and polite - such as it was now - was when the man was cross with Eggsy. 

“I’m afraid I’m not the one you should be asking that to,” the man said flatly. 

Eggsy stared up at the man, surprised to see Harry’s chocolate eyes filled with unspoken despair. “‘arry-”

“Eggsy if you knew this mission was going to make you uncomfortable you should have said so from the beginning,” Harry whispered, his voice holding a tinge of desperation. “ You don’t have to take these type of missions if you don’t want to. I’m not interested in forcing you and we could always use Lancelot if necessary, or if you’d rather go with Lancelot-”

“What the fuck are yeh talkin’ about?” Eggsy spluttered, looking more confused than ever. “Uncomfortable? ‘arry I’m not- yeh think I’m uncomfortable with-”

“Eggsy you haven’t even looked at me since we left the room,” Harry pressed. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you are not comfortable with the mission at hand. Now, while we do have to finish this, I can make sure this never happens again. You don’t have to worry about me being offended,” Harry offered, smiling softly at Eggsy. “I really don’t mind.”

It would hurt more than he could say, but that was not something Eggsy needed to know. 

Eggsy remained silent for a few seconds, too horrified to speak. He had really mucked this up. Harry really thought he was uncomfortable with pretending to be with the man, which couldn’t be farther from the truth - and _that_ was not something Harry could know either. 

But what were his options? On the one hand he could let Harry think he wasn’t competent enough to pull off a mission like this because he was “uncomfortable” pretending, or he could tell the man the truth and destroy the friendship he had with Harry for surely the man wasn’t going to be interested in someone like him and then everything would be awkward as fuck. 

_or_ he could lie his ass off and hope for the best. 

“I can do my job, ‘arry-” Eggsy murmured, feigning to be insulted. “I ain’t uncomfortable ‘bout nothin’ so stop bein’ paranoid,” he snapped, feeling more than a bit guilty when he came off sounding harsher than intended. “I’m just worried we ain’t gonna find the killer s’all.” 

Harry remained quiet for a few seconds, surprised at the venom in Eggsy’s words. He hadn’t expected the younger man to react so strongly to his words. He went over his little speech in his head, trying to figure out what was it that he had said that had pissed Eggsy off. 

_Did the young man think he doubted his abilities? Had Harry not made it clear enough by now how blindly he trusted Eggsy?_

The waiter returned, check in hand. Harry thanked him, quickly slipping in his credit card before the young waiter could leave again. He wanted to escape the restaurant as soon as possible. 

“Um, so where are we goin’ now?” Eggsy said more softly, not able to ignore the fact that Harry hadn’t answered him. 

_Was he mad at Eggsy now?_

“The mark is at the pool, so we’ll be spending our morning there.”

“yeh gonna swim with me?” Eggsy said with a cheeky grin, hoping to alleviate some of the tension between the too. 

Harry chuckled - albeit not as heartily as usual - and murmured “it would seem so, yes.” 

The waiter came back with Harry’s card, and Eggsy suddenly leaned forward, much to the older man’s surprise. He grabbed Harry by the chin and kissed him softly, chastely, almost hesitantly. He needed to reassure himself in some way that things were going to be alright. He needed to fix things between him and Harry somehow and - considering that he had the perfect cover to actually do this - a kiss seemed the most appropriate way. 

“Have some faith in me,” Eggsy whispered, looking at Harry’s eyes for a second too long. He gave him a shy, sheepish smile. “ _please._ ”

Harry felt his throat go dry as he tried to reign his emotions in. He had not been expecting Eggsy to kiss him. He had not been expecting Eggsy to look at him with such an earnest, and open look on his face.

_He was trying to prove himself to Harry._

_Damn it._

_Of course -_ Harry should have seen it coming. Eggsy wanted to show Harry that he was more than capable; so he _had_ been hurt by Harry’s comment.

God, Harry felt sick to his stomach. 

This was the farthest thing away from what he actually wanted. He certainly didn’t want to make Eggsy uncomfortable, but he also didn’t want him to think he had to try extra hard to try to prove a point. 

Damn it all to hell. 

“Eggsy you _know_ I have outmost faith in you,” Harry whispered, hoping that the boy couldn’t see how hollow Harry was feeling. This want and self hate were starting to physically pain him. 

Eggsy licked his lips, trying not to preen to much at Harry’s words. He had sounded so earnest, so… loving.

God, Eggsy just wanted to kiss him again.

——————————

They reached the pool in record time, considering that they had to go back to the room to change. 

Eggsy smiled as he looked around for the mark, spotting the man easily enough. He was still with the same young woman that had left with him the night prior, which left Eggsy wondering where the man’s wife was. 

“‘arry could it be her?” Eggsy whispered as they found two seats and a table near the pool. 

“What do you mean?” The man murmured as he pulled out two bottles of water and a book. 

“that girl he’s with” Eggsy said as he pointed softly with his head. “Could she be the killer?”

Harry looked over where the mark was, giving the girl a once over. “She doesn’t look like a trained killer, but it’s certainly a possibility.” Harry pulled out his glasses, pretending to adjust them as he took a picture discreetly. “I’ll send the picture to Merlin to double check.”

Eggsy nodded, standing up to stretch. “I’m goin’ for a swim. Yeh wanna come?”

Harry pointed at the book, not meeting Eggsy’s eyes. “I was rather hoping to read for a little bit, but I’ll join you later.”

Eggsy nodded, staying still for a moment as he debated whether or not to kiss Harry. They _were_ pretending to be a couple, but he really didn’t want to push his luck. Not because he _desperately_ wanted to kiss the man meant he could actually do as he pleased. He finally opted to leave with a wink, not daring to look back. 

Harry watched him go, feeling a familiar pang of longing in his gut. He desperately wanted to go with Eggsy or for the young man to stay right there with him. He wanted to be able to kiss him in the pool, to touch his wet back, to dare Eggsy to a race which Harry was sure he would win because while Eggsy was a fast swimmer he had never seen Harry in the water. He wanted to tease him about it, and then kiss his pout - because he was sure the younger man would pout - away. He wanted to mark his neck so that anyone that dared look their way would know Eggsy was not available. 

He sighed, picking up the book with determination. He hadn’t day dreamed this much since he was in his twenties. This was getting downright pathetic. He tried to force himself to read, giving up after ten minutes, when he realized that he was still on the bloody first page. 

He rubbed his eyes tiredly before looking towards the mark. The man had fallen asleep and the woman was nowhere to be found. He looked around the place again, filing away bits and pieces of information about every single person he laid his eyes on. 

None of them gave anything off to make Harry suspect they were a threat. 

His eyes stilled their systematic search as his eyes landed on Eggsy. _Eggsy_ who was pretending to be _his_ husband. _Eggsy_ who had gotten out of the pool and was dripping water on the side of the pool. _Eggsy_ who was talking to a tall, brunette with pretty eyes. _Eggsy_ who was smiling broadly at the girl. _Eggsy_ who seemed to have stolen the young woman’s heart already. 

Harry felt a cold, unstoppable fury wash over him, making his fists clench and his vision tinge red at the edges. How _dare_ she flirt with _his_ husband?  

_He’s not actually your husband_ the more sensible part of his brain tried to remind him. 

But did that matter? Why the hell was Eggsy flirting with a girl when he knew he was on assignment? Never mind the fact that Harry had no claim whatsoever over Eggsy; he _very much_ had a claim over the man for the duration of the week and Harry Hart _did not_ share - especially not Eggsy. 

Harry stood up before he could think better about it, before his brain could remind him of the earlier conversation he had had with Eggsy, before guilt or _logic_ could clear his vision, before the blood drumming in his ears could subside. He approached the pair without a trace of hesitation, his eyes flashing with unhinged fury. 

He reached Eggsy’s side and gave the younger man a predatory smile as he draped a possessive arm around his waist, bringing Eggsy closer to his side. 

“There you are _darling_ ,” Harry breathed out as he leaned down to claim the younger man’s mouth. 

If Eggsy was surprised by Harry’s movements, he didn’t show it for - after tensing for a second - he immediately melted into the kiss, licking Harry’s lower lip.  

Harry held back a self satisfied purr as he rubbed Eggsy’s hip, pulling back once he deemed his claim to be clear. “And who might your companion be?” Harry asked, not deigning the girl with a glance. 

“Uh, this is Jessica,” Eggsy said, his cheeks slightly flushed from the kiss. “She was just tellin’ me how she’s in our same floor.”

“Oh, is that right?” Harry said with a cheerfulness that sounded fake to his own ears. “How _lovely_ ,”

The young woman looked between the two, trying not to show her discomfort. “Uh, I’m guessing this is your boyfriend?” She said faintly, giving Harry a polite smile.

“I'm his _husband_ , actually,” the man said with a sharp smile that did not reach his eyes. His meaning was clear; _he is mine_.

“Oh, wow, I- congratulations, he’s quite a catch, “ she said as she took a step backwards, ready to bolt. 

Harry’s eyes softened a fraction as he said “that, he most certainly is.”

The young woman gave him a tight smile. “um, right, I should um-”

“of course, please, we would hate to keep you from enjoying your day,” Harry said as he pulled Eggsy closer , who said his goodbyes quickly, taking heed of Harry’s pull. 

“Everythin’ a’right,’arry?” Eggsy said as wrapped one arm around Harry’s waist and placed his other hand on Harry’s chest as they walked. To anyone else, they would now look like two very much in love men.

Harry had the dignity to look sheepish before his face went completely blank. “I’m fine, _darling._ I just didn’t deem it wise for you to be distracted from the mission at hand.”

_I didn’t want you to want her. I didn’t want you to touch her. I didn’t want her to touch you,_ Harry’s heart screamed as his mind silenced it with a swift blow. 

_What the hell had he been thinking acting like that?_

He wasn’t a bloody jealous teenager - and yet that was exactly how he had behaved. By god, he was truly out of control. If the point was to not make Eggsy uncomfortable, then he had sorely failed.

Eggsy looked at the man for a few moments, trying to keep at bay the sudden wave of arousal that hit him like a freight train. He was pretty sure he had never seen anything hotter than a jealous Harry Hart staking his claim. it made his skin tingle with want. 

How far would Harry be willing to take it? 

And, more importantly, had that really been jealousy or had the man just been playing his part as Eggsy’s “husband”? Did he actually feel something for Eggsy? 

The mere thought was preposterous.

And yet Eggsy was dying to ask, if only to let his hopes die. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> P.S: This is about the halfway point, so there should be another 5 chapters or so :)


	6. Old Acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I get it now; I didn't get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible...and enjoying everything in between.”  
> ― Mia Farrow

Harry walked towards the door of the bar, opening the first button of his suit jacket as Eggsy walked through the door. He sighed softly as he placed his hand on Eggsy’s lower back, trying not to think too much about the fact that Eggsy instantly - unconsciously - melted into his touch. 

He tried to concentrate on the task at hand; recon. There was to be a meeting there in the afternoon, and Eggsy - beautiful, brilliant Eggsy - had thought it to be a good idea to make sure it was safe. Harry hadn't particularly minded, especially since they'd have to consume alcohol to stay at the bar and wasn't that just convenient. 

Harry looked around the room, looking for potential exits, dark corners, good hiding nooks, and unsavory people. He felt his breath stumble out of him at the sight of a man of around his age, who was sitting at the bar, scotch drink in hand. 

_ Why was he here? Was this fate yet again, wanting to torment Harry?  _

Eggsy began walking towards the bar, only stopping once he noticed that Harry’s warm hand was no longer pressed against his back. He looked to his side, surprised not to find Harry there. He whirled around, doing his best to keep his brows from raising as he found Harry standing in the middle of the room looking uncomfortable and slightly paler than before.

Eggsy walked back towards where the man was standing and grabbed his elbow softly. “‘arry are yeh a’right?”

“Fine,” said the older man immediately, his eyes snapping down to meet Eggsy’s. “I just wasn’t expecting… _him,_ to be here.”   

Eggsy frowned, coming closer. “He? Who’s he? Who are yeh talkin’ about ‘arry?”

The man sighed, looking down at Eggsy with an unreadable expression on his face. “My… ex.” 

Eggsy’s eyebrows shot up as he tried - and failed - to keep from gaping. “Which one is he?” Eggsy whispered, not yet turning around. 

“He’s the one wearing a dark grey vest and a white button up,” Harry murmured, barely moving his lips.  

Eggsy pretended to fix his hair to look to the side with the corner of his eye. His heart dropped as he saw the man; the guy was a fucking adonis. He was as tall as Harry, and had a beautiful mass of hair, his eyes looking dark and sharp. He was quite muscular in all the right places, and yet he still managed looked thin and graceful. 

He was almost a walking stereotype of the proper, posh, hot guy that owned half of London. 

In other words, he was everything Eggsy _was not_. Now, Eggsy didn’t have any confidence issues. He knew very well he was worth as much - or even more - than all the posh assholes he had met in his life, and he was probably a better lay than half of them. Still, it didn’t take away the fact that - if this was Hary’s type - then he had no fucking chance. Not that he had ever really thought he had one, but it had always been nice to dream. 

Eggsy cleared his throat and looked back at Harry. They still had a mission at hand, regardless of how shitty he felt right now, and Harry’s ex was definitely a problem.  

“What do yeh wanna do, ‘arry?” 

The man remained quiet for a few moments, contemplating his options. “I’m afraid we’ll have to tell him at least part of the truth, if he talks to us.”

“What part?” Eggsy murmured, feeling his heart sink even lower. Harry would probably want ask him to stop pretending to be his husband, if only to save himself the embarrassment.

“Well, he knows I’m an agent, as he is one himself - or was, last time I talked to him.  He used to work for MI6. We’ll have to tell him we are here on Vacation. We’ll say our wedding was a year ago, and hopefully he’ll let it be.”

Eggsy nodded, feeling a wave of relief at the fact that Harry hadn’t rejected him. Yes, they may be pretending, but Eggsy’s feelings were still very much real, and he’d much rather have something - even if it was a lie - than nothing at all. 

Harry placed his hand on Eggsy’s back once again. giving him a small wink as he walked the young man to the bar. They both sat down close to each other, their legs brushing.

The waitress approached them quickly, looking at Eggsy with hungry eyes. “What can I get for you two boys tonight?”

“We’ll have two martini’s, thank you,” said Harry, placing his left hand delicately on top of Eggsy’s, his marriage ring glinting under the light.

Eggsy stifled a laugh at Harry’s display, feeling a strange rush of adoration towards the man. He knew he probably shouldn’t enjoy Harry’s little displays of jealousy as much as he dis, especially when he only did it for the job, but Eggsy couldn’t help it. For some reason, he felt terribly _cherished._

He squeezed Harry’s hand, making the man look back at him.

“Yeh know I’d never look at someone else when I ‘ave ya, babe,” Eggsy said, his words honest and fond. 

Harry felt his throat close up as he dived in for a soft, chaste kiss, not giving a single damn about _why_ Eggsy had said that. He had it clear in his mind that this was all a lie, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t let his heart dream, couldn’t let it beat frantically every time Eggsy called him “babe”. 

Yes, it would hurt more once he got back to a dark and cold home without the sweet young man sitting next to him that seemed to bring life and warmth to every room he entered. But Harry was done trying to stop himself from indulging in the time he had. 

If they only had a week, then he was going to _enjoy_ it. He was going to believe in the lie and use it; he was going to play with the fire burning inside of him. There would be time later to crash and burn in the privacy of his own home. There would be time to mourn the loss of Eggsy’s touch, of his smiles and the endearments he threw around so freely, even when they had never been Harry’s to keep.  

His home was his safe haven. His darkened windows were tombs that would take his pain to the grave. His walls were barriers strong enough to hold against any bottle he threw, and any stranger’s back he slammed against them in his rush to ravish whatever man he brought over to serve as a poor substitute for what the one man he truly wanted. 

And so he kissed Eggsy again, pushing the guilt down as he bit the younger man’s lower lip, feeling his skin tingle when he heard Eggsy moan softly against him. The younger man inched closer, pushing his way into Harry’s mouth with his tongue. He played with Harry’s tongue, feeling the urge to purr as the kiss got wetter and dirtier the longer they kissed.  

Their waitress cleared her throat as she placed both drinking in front of them, winking at them as she moved on to the next customer. 

Harry raised his glass, looking at Eggsy with undiluted adoration, his gaze soft and open. “While one doesn’t generally toast with a martini, I must say; to you, my love.”

Eggsy felt himself blush, his lips parting unconsciously. He caressed Harry’s cheek, feeling his eyes get teary at the look on Harry’s eyes. He couldn’t breathe, not with Harry looking at him like _that._

_Fuck how he wanted it to be real._

“ _I love you,_ ” he whispered breathlessly, feeling like his heart was going to burst if he didn’t say it at least once. 

Harry gasped, scrambling to hold on to the pieces of his heart that threatened to shatter even further. He wasn’t sure what was worse, to know it was a lie that was currently threatening to destroy what little sanity he had left or to feel the desperate need to hear it again and again for the rest of his life. 

God, those words would be wank material for months to come. They would become his very air he needed to keep going. 

Harry mentally slapped himself. The fact that he was even thinking about all that was shameful. 

“Harry?” suddenly said a velvety voice that made Eggsy’s blood boil.

_ Couldn’t the fucker see they were having a moment? _

“Jack? I wasn’t expecting to see you… here” Harry murmured, pretending to be surprised.

“Well then that makes two of us,” the man murmured as he got up, moving closer to the pair. “And who might your companion be?”

“He’s my husband, Eggsy” Harry murmured, giving the man a tight, forced, smile. He hated the fact that even after so many years the man could still make his heart throb in pain.

“Husband?” The man murmured, giving Harry a dubious look. “The eternal bachelor, Harry Hart actually decided to settle down?”

Harry rolled his eyes, giving the other man a glare. “Will you stop calling me that?”

The man chuckled, his eyes glinting with mirth. “Oh, come now, Harry, don’t be so grumpy,” he teased, turning to look at Eggsy. “And what brings you two here?” 

“We’re here on vacation,” Eggsy murmured, his words turning crisp as he hid his accent. 

The man’s face became unreadable. “Ah, I see, is this your honeymoon?” 

“Heavens, no, this is just a leisure trip,” Harry said before taking a sip of his drink.

“But you hate taking vacations,” the man said pointedly.

“Well, when you find the right person to share them with, they’re not actually that bad.” His eyes softened as they landed on Eggsy.

“I’m going to pretend I’m not insulted by that, you insensitive prick,” the man sneered, his expression still calm.

Harry ignored his remark as he said. “And why might you be here?”

The man shurgged, giving Harry a half smile. “I wanted some fresh air.”

Harry hummed, giving the man an assessing look. The man looked right back at Harry, not even blinking as Harry’s eyes turned colder and colder. They stared each other down for longer than what would be considered proper, hiding sneers behind cold - yet rather composed- expressions. 

“Well, while it is… refreshing to see you Harry, I do have better things to do than to pretend either one of us wants to have a conversation,” he said cheerfully, giving the two men a stiff nod before taking his drink and walking away.

Eggsy stared after him, leaning in to whisper “I don’t trust him.”

“No, neither do I,” the man murmured, his lips brushing against Eggsy’s ear. “I’ll have Merlin dig into why exactly he is here.”

Eggsy nodded, giving Harry's hand a squeeze before he turned around to check the room. While he wanted nothing more than to climb onto Harry's lap and claim the man, he still had a job to do. Besides, Harry wouldn't be amenable to that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh, sorry for the late posting. It's been a crazy week, so I hadn't had the time to write until yesterday.  
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	7. Your touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Who taught you to write in blood on my back? Who taught you to use your hands as branding irons? You have scored your name into my shoulders, referenced me with your mark. The pads of your fingers have become printing blocks, you tap a message on to my skin, tap meaning into my body.”  
> ― Jeanette Winterson

“Did he really book a fuckin’ massage for the rest of the afternoon?” Eggsy said, incredulity thick in his voice. “What the fuck do yeh do in a spa for that long? Doesn’t he ‘ave better shit to do?”

“Obviously not,” Harry drawled as he stirred them towards their room. “However, I do think you’ll find the establishment amenable, Eggsy. Massages can be quite relaxing.”

“But how are we supposed to keep an eye on him if he’s gettin’ a fuckin’ massage?” Eggsy said, suddenly stopping. 

Harry turned to face him, a small, tight smile forming on his lips. “We don’t.”

Eggsy frowned, looking more and more confused by the minute. “Then what are we supposed to-”

“We’re going to have Merlin run a background check on Jack, of course,” Harry said without missing a beat. “I want to know exactly why he is here, and, if we can’t keep track of our mark physically, then we may as well not waste time.”

“Please tell me yeh planted a bug or sumthin’ in that spa,” Eggsy grumbled softly.

Harry’s smiled turned more genuine as he regarded the younger man with a smug look. “This is - as they say - not my first rodeo, Eggsy.”

The younger man chuckled, shaking his head softly at Harry’s teasing tone. He was a bit surprised the man was in such a good mood, to be honest. He hadn’t seemed too happy after they had talked with Jack, withdrawing from Eggsy both physically and emotionally as soon as the other man had left the bar. Harry had remained quiet, clearly remembering his past with the man.

Eggsy was afraid to ask, not sure whether he feared the pain of hearing that Harry had been utterly besotted with the man - that he had been _happy_ with him -or whether he was afraid to hear that he was the reason Harry had such a hard time opening up.

Neither option boded well with Eggsy. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Merlin’s voice through the comms once they reached their room. 

“What do you mean Jack is there?” Merlin growled, sounded irritated. 

“I mean he is fucking here, Merlin,” Harry snapped, rolling his eyes. “We saw him at the bar less than half an hour ago.”

“That fucking bastard,” Merlin muttered under his breath as he turned to type furiously at his computer. 

“We don’t know if he’s the assassin yet,” Harry tried to reason, knowing that that would not mollify his friend in the slightest. 

“He’s still a bastard,” barked out Merlin unapologetically. 

Harry chuckled, sitting down on the bed, closing his eyes as he listened to the magician type away on his computer. Eggsy watched Harry’s tense back, realizing immediately that - while he was willing to talk about this, laugh about it even with Merlin, it wasn’t a topic he was comfortable with. 

“He left MI6 two years ago,” Merlin murmured, his tone getting darker and darker by the minute. “He’s listed as MIA, Harry.”

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples. “So he’s our killer?”

“I’m not sure,” admitted Merlin, hating the fact that he had to give that little prick the benefit of the doubt. “While he didn’t report back, that doesn’t allow us to immediately assume he turned rogue.” 

Harry nodded, his eyes glazed, as if he wasn’t really there in the room. “That could have been his way out.”

“Precisely,” whispered Merlin. “I’m afraid the easiest way to tell whether or not he is the assassin is to search his room.”

Eggsy’s head snapped up at that. “He will notice if his room is searched. Didn’t yeh just say he was MI6?”

“And we are kingsman,” said Harry easily, titling his head to the side. “Merlin we’ll need you on watch, though.” 

Merlin huffed out a chuckle. “You really do love making me waste my time.” He leaned forward, turning on the security feed from the different rooms on the cruise. “I’ll let you know once he leaves his room, so that you can go search.” 

“Where is he, exactly?” Eggsy asked as he came to sit next to Harry. 

“He’s at the other end of the hallway from where you are.”

“How convenient,” said Eggsy drily, his shoulders tense. 

“It will actually be very useful in case you need a quick cover,” Marlin said, smiling softly. 

“Right, well do let us know when to move,” said Harry before terminating the connection. “Take your shirt off, Eggsy,” murmured Harry in a low tone. 

The younger man froze, turning to look at Harry with wild eyes. “What?”

Harry turned to look at him, nonplussed, even though he was feeling anything but. “Your shirt. Take it off.” 

Eggsy swallowed hard, trying hard to figure out why Harry wanted such a thing. While he trusted Harry completely, he didn’t trust himself to not react to Harry’s gaze, especially if he was half naked so he was reticent to take his bloody shirt off without a very good reason. 

After a few seconds of staring at Harry, battling with his eyes, he finally looked away and sighed. He stood up, quickly undoing the buttons of his shirt. He turned around and moved to the chair where he hanged up his suit jacket and his shirt, feeling extremely exposed. 

He turned back around, feeling his throat close up as he saw Harry standing next to the bed, sans jacket, rolling up his sleeves. 

Harry looked back at Eggsy, his face inscrutable. “Lie down on your stomach, please.” 

Eggsy’s brows shot up but he said nothing, following Harry’s instructions as he tried to ignore his goosebumps. He took a deep breath as he felt Harry move around the room for a little while longer, before the bed dipped near him.

Harry hesitated, wondering whether his choice was right. Eggsy looked extremely tense. In his experience with the younger man, there were two possible outcomes; either he performed his best because he was stressed, or he performed his worst and - considering his posture - the latter seemed more likely. 

Harry knew that - while Eggsy didn’t want him - the younger man _did_ relax under his touch more quickly than anything else that came to mind. He needed Eggsy relaxed, calm, and ready. And, while part of this did have to do with the fact that he felt a desperate need to _touch_ Eggsy, his main reason was to help. 

He took a deep breath before opening the small bottle of scented oil he had taken from the counter as they went for breakfast in the morning on a whim. He poured some of its contents on his hands, trying hard not to think how else that oil could be useful. He rubbed his hands before descending on Eggsy’s back, staring with slow, strong strokes down his spine. 

Eggsy gasped softly, tensing at the first touch before melting against Harry’s hands. He had _not_ been expecting this; hell, he wasn’t sure _what_ he had been expecting. He fisted his hands in the sheets as Harry moved up to rub his shoulders and his neck, feeling the roughness of Harry’s calloused hands, the strength behind the gentle touches. Harry’s touch was electric, making him want _more_. 

Every touch drove him more and more out of his mind, making Eggsy’s skin tingle and his blood burn with unhinged need. He had never felt something this intense. He wasn’t sure he’d make it out of this intact. 

He bit his lower lip, trying his hardest to think of anything other than Harry’s hands on his back, stroking expertly, as if he owned Eggsy’s body and was merely exercising his claim. He could feel himself getting more and more aroused, his cock quickly filling with blood. 

Harry swallowed hard, trying his hardest not to groan in pleasure at the sight of Eggsy squirming under his touch. It was absurd how in tune Eggsy was with his touch. The younger man moved almost unconsciously under Harry’s hands, adjusting perfectly to the man’s roaming hands, relaxing everywhere Harry touched, leaning back against his touch. Harry felt faint with the need to touch and bite and _take_. Eggsy had never looked more delightful than now, under his touch. 

He pressed against a particularly sore spot, rubbing the knot away. Harry moved lower, enraptured, stroking Eggsy’s lower back with methodic movements, hoping that perhaps - if he didn’t think about what he was doing - he would be able to keep himself from just flipping Eggsy around to kiss him. 

“ _Harry_ …” Eggsy moaned unconsciously as he felt the older man’s hands dip lower, a shiver running down his back. 

The man’s breath hitched at that, his hands stilling as he tried to control his reaction. That noise had been enough to make him hard. He looked down at Eggsy, who had tensed up at the loss of touch. 

Eggsy felt a wave of fear hit him, seizing his throat. He tried to sit up but Harry’s hand descended on his shoulders, pinning him there. 

“Where do you think you’re going? We haven’t finished.” Harry said as casually as possible, not wanting Eggsy to notice how much the way he had said his name had affected him, but not wanting to make it awkward for Eggsy either. 

It wasn’t Eggsy’s fault that even the most innocent of things could make Harry’s heart beat faster and his cock swell as his body burned with desire.

Eggsy blushed. “Um, I just thought-”

“ _Relax_ , Eggsy,” Harry tutted. “I just need a bit more oil.” 

“Right,” whispered the younger man, not sounding convinced at all. 

Harry stifled a sigh as he got back to massaging Eggsy, feeling as if the quiet, lovely _moment_ \- for lack of a better word - they had been experiencing was gone, leaving in its wake a tense silence that neither men wanted to acknowledge.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh sorry for the late update. I've just had a busy week. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	8. An alibi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I felt that if he touched me, I'd die. And then the thought crawled into my brain that if he didn't touch me, I'd die.”  
> ― Kitty Thomas

“He’s out of his room, but I doubt you’ll have much time,so you have to move, gentlemen,” Merlin grunted angrily through the comms.  

Harry finished fixing his cufflinks, blushing slightly. It had most certainly not been his intention for Merlin to catch him giving Eggsy a back rub. His friend knew of his… infatuation on the younger man of course, and would undoubtedly have a lot to say. 

Harry stifled a groan. Merlin would never let him live this down. He would give him that _I told you so_ look he seemed to reserve only for Harry, before badgering him relentlessly about the fact that he had not told Eggsy anything. 

For some reason, which Harry did not pretend to comprehend, Merlin was hell bent on Harry revealing his feelings to the younger man, which was simply preposterous. He wanted Eggsy, but his friendship with the younger man was more important. He refused to destroy what he already had by making things awkward for Eggsy. 

Besides, he wasn’t quite sure he would survive the crash once Eggsy rejected his advances. There was a reason he _never_ carried his heart on his sleeve; there was always too much at stake when it came to matters of the heart. Harry had learned that the hard way. 

“Did you disable the cameras?” Eggsy said as he followed Harry out of the room, looking both ways to make sure they weren’t being followed. 

“Yes,” Merlin said in a bored tone. “But they’ll go back up in two minutes.” 

Harry said nothing as he hurried his pace. He reached Jack’s door quickly enough and crouched, cursing Merlin. He was quite sure this was his friend’s way of punishing Harry for not saying anything. Merlin _knew_ that while Harry was fantastic at disarming bombs, he didn’t always do too well with picking doors - something Percival still made sure to mention every time they were on a mission together. 

“Thirty seconds, Arthur,” Merlin murmured in his ear, a glint of mischievous mirth in his voice. 

“Shut up, Merlin,” Harry said in a low voice, holding back a snarl. He was going to smack his friend the next time he saw him. 

Merlin smiled, noticing the strain in Harry’s voice. He’d have to inform Percival that their dear leader still sucked at opening doors. “Five seconds-”

Harry pushed the door open, taking a deep breath as he ushered Eggsy in quickly. 

Thank god he had managed to open it. He didn’t need yet another thing to make its way to Merlin’s list of “shit that riles Harry up.” 

“How much time do we ‘ave, Merlin?” Eggsy murmured as he moved to the nightstand careful not to make too much noise as he opened the drawer. 

“I’d say no more than an hour,” the man said with a grunt. 

Harry nodded, taking stock of the room. The room, strangely enough, screamed Jack. It was rather dark, as the drapes hadn’t been drawn up, and the room smelled of cigarrettes and mint. The bed was unmade - a habit Jack had picked up in his early years and was unwilling to let go of, or at least that’s what he had told Harry when he had finally snapped after finding their bed unmade one too many times. 

He moved closer to the bed when he found no traces of the man’s luggage. Jack had never been too fond of cleaning after himself, being far too used to having maids running after him since he was but a child, and storing away his luggage was _not_ something he did, not unless he had something to hide. 

“Galahad, check the walk-in closet for his luggage,” Harry said softly as he kneeled on the floor, bracing himself on his hands to look under the bed. Harry touched the slats, clicking his tongue as he felt the handle of what was undoubtedly a sniper rifle. 

“I found the bag, Arthur, what do yeh want me to do with it?” Eggsy said, peering in from the closet. 

“Check everything on the inside,” Harry said softly as he dislodged the weapon from where it was being held. He touched the barrel of the gun, recognizing it immediately. Jack had always been especially fond of his weapons, and never got rid of them if he could help it. He had one of each kind for every occasion. He loved all of his weapons, that was true, but he was especially fond of his rifles, so much so that he had over forty of them. 

He had one for undercover mission in the US, one for undercover missions in Libya, One for missions that required headshots, one for taking down rogue agents, one meant to exterminate all competitors… the list was interminable. 

The one Harry was holding, though, was specially telling; the one he had in his hand had been the weapon Jack had used to kill the a Russian dignitary over fifteen years ago.  

“it’s him, Merlin,” Harry said as a sense of dread filled him. While he couldn’t stand Jack anymore, he didn’t particularly feel like killing someone whom he had loved at one point of his life - regardless of what the man had done to him. 

“There’s a hard drive ‘ere, Merlin,” Eggsy said from the closet. “What do you want me to do with-”

Merlin suddenly cursed, interrupting Eggsy. “You both need to get out of there now. He’s coming.” 

“What?” Harry snarled, freezing for a second before he knelt back down to put the gun back to where he had found it. Eggsy scrambled to put everything back into the bag the same way it had been before he had opened it. He put it back in place, running out of the closet to find Harry near the door. 

He yanked Eggsy outside without another look, closing the door carefully. He grabbed Eggsy by the hand all but running down the hall. 

“Harry, he’s going to see you,” Merlin said in a rush as he watched the camera helplessly. 

Harry suddenly stopped running, driving Eggsy backwards to slam him against the wall. He undid the first four buttons of Eggsy’s shirt, quickly moving to then undo his tie. He ran a hand through his hair, pining Eggsy where he was by sliding a leg in between Eggsy’s. He suddenly surged forward, kissing Eggsy with bruising force. He licked his way into Eggsy’s mouth, sucking at his tongue as he ran a hand down EGgsy’s partially nude chest. 

Eggsy moaned shamelessly, completely forgetting that they were currently on a mission, that someone was bound to walk in on them, that Harry was just doing this for a mission. He lost himself in the pleasure, his skin tingling wherever Harry was making contact. He brought Harry closer by the neck, fisting his hand in the back of Harry’s shirt. 

Harry groaned softly, breaking away only to dive down to kiss and suck at Eggsy’s neck. 

Eggsy gasped, throwing his head back. “Fuck, _‘arry_ ,” he whined, scrambling for purchase. He held on to Harry’s shoulders, flushing as the older man _devoured_ his throat, clearly bent on marking every single bit of Eggsy’s skin that was available for him. 

Harry felt himself harden as he continued to suck on Eggsy’s neck, enjoying the little moans and gasps he was drawing from Eggsy. This was everything he had dreamt of for the better part of six months now, and it felt surreal having Eggsy like this, breathless and begging for more, even if it was only for a mission. 

“My, my” said Jack suddenly, his voice smooth and calm, hiding what Harry recognized to be anger. 

Harry reluctantly pulled away to glare at the newcomer, pressing Eggsy closer as if to hide him from view. Now that they had stopped kissing, the reality of _why_ they had been kissing and why they were on the bloody cruise in the first place came back to Harry, squashing whatever happiness he had allowed himself to feel mere moments ago. 

“Jack,” he breathed out, his tone resigned. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was going back to my room. My plans for the evening got canceled,” the man said simply, tilting his head to the side. “But now I’m wondering why you two are here.” 

Harry clenched his jaw. “We just came back from dinner,” Harry lied wit a small smile. “We were hoping to… have some time for ourselves.”

“This early?” Jack said as he looked at his watch. “It’s not even eight yet.” 

Harry raised a brow. “I don’t believe my schedule is any of your concern, Jack.”

The man gave him a long, calculating look. “No, I suppose it is not.” Suddenly he smiled far too warmly for Harry’s comfort. “Do _enjoy_ your evening.” 

Harry said nothing, preferring to watch the other man go. He grabbed Eggsy by the waist and led him back into their room, only letting the younger man go once he had locked the door behind them. 

Eggsy squirmed softly as Harry turned to look at him, the man’s eyes still darkened with lust from their earlier kissing. He had not expected his body to react so strongly from just a few kisses, but he was painfully hard, and he knew that his erection wasn’t about to go away. He blushed profusely, not knowing how to apologize to Harry. 

He just hoped the man wasn’t appalled. 

Harry looked at the younger man, his eyes dilating even further as he took the time to take Eggsy in. The younger man looked… _debauched_. His cheeks and chest were flushed - whether from embarrassment or from their kissing Harry wasn’t sure - and his neck was covered in Harry’s love bites, making Harry’s cock twitch with interest. his hair was all over the place, and he was still panting softly, his lips parted in a way that made Harry’s knees feel week. 

Harry moved closer unconsciously, feeling an irresistible urge to just _touch_ and _take_. Eggsy looked up at him, almost afraid of what he was going to find there, but he gasped as the only thing he found there was desire. 

He moaned again, unable to help himself when he pushed himself up on his tiptoes to kiss Harry again. He bit Harry’s lower lip with a sudden surge of bravado, whimpering as Harry growled, bringing his hands down to squeeze Eggsy’s buttocks. 

Harry couldn’t quite let himself believe that this was actually happening. He was sure it was all a dream that would soon end, for it was _impossible_. 

It was impossible for Eggsy to want him, to want to be touched like this by Harry. 

“Fuck me,” the younger man suddenly blurted out, blushing profusely once he realized he had said it aloud. 

He need not have worried, however, as Harry merely groaned in pleasure, hauling Eggsy up by his thighs as he carried him back to the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short chapter, but don't worry because next one is longer (+ the other one may or may not include smut... ;) )
> 
> I hope you are enjoying this story!


	9. Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I’m tormented, I’m crushed, I don’t know what to do. I’m confused, I’m lost, I totally got no clue. I know I love you. Yeah, that’s true. But when will you start loving me too?"

He pushed Eggsy down, quickly ripping the younger man’s jacket off, as well as his shirt. He ran his hands down the planes of Eggsy’s chest, worshiping the younger man’s body with every kiss, every caress, every soft bite. 

Eggsy shivered under Harry’s touch, unable to keep himself from moaning like an animal in heat. Harry quickly undid his zipper, taking off Eggsy’s trousers as if they had caused Harry a personal offense. He kneeled on the floor, dragging Eggsy closer by pulling him by his calves. He kissed Eggsy’s inner ankles, running his hands up the younger man’s thighs. 

Eggsy trashed against the bed as Harry suddenly licked his still clothed cock, eliciting a curse from the younger man. 

“Take that off,” Eggsy growled as he tugged at the collar of Harry’s shirt. 

The older man smiled at the insistence in Eggsy’s voice, quickly divesting himself of the rest of his clothing. Eggsy looked up at Harry with some effort and then forgot how to breathe. Harry was fucking _beautiful_. He made a low, desperate sound as he reached up touch. He pushed himself off the bed to kiss and lick at Harry’s abdomen, tracing the man’s back with his hands.

Harry froze, a low moan escaping him as Eggsy bit his flat stomach. He ran a hand through the younger man’s hair. He suddenly gripped Eggsy’s chin and tilted it up, kissing him desperately as they both tumbled back down on the bed. 

Harry yanked Eggsy’s pants down in one swift motion, biting Eggsy’s lower lip as he did so. The younger man grunted, wasting no time as he began rubbing himself against Harry’s hip. 

Harry kissed and bit at Egsgy’s jaw, distantly wondering why exactly had fate decided to be so kind to him. He pushed the thought down, though, knowing that no good would come from worrying about what was to happen next. 

He’d sit Eggsy down in the morning and tell him everything, and - hopefully - he’d walk away unscarred. He was under no illusions that Eggsy felt the same way he did; there had been nothing to indicate that. However, it was clear now that Eggsy _did_ want him. 

Harry could live with that. He would take all that Eggsy was willing to give, even if it meant only warming Eggsy’s bed for a period of time until the younger man found someone to love. He would need to make it clear, though, that their friendship came first and foremost. He’d rather not have this at all fi it meant he would lose Eggsy in the end. 

But wasn’t it a bit too late for that? They were already here, in Harry’s bed, naked and needy. It wasn’t like things wouldn’t get awkward from here on out if they didn’t keep going with whatever it was that they had. 

“‘arry?” Eggsy said suddenly, looking at the man with worried eyes. “yeh okay?” 

Harry took a deep breath, giving Eggsy a rueful smile before kissing him. “Of course I am,” he said quickly, distracting Eggsy by stroking his cock ever so slowly. 

Harry forced himself to forget about his worries for the moment; if he was to have Eggsy only once, then he was going to fully enjoy it - enjoy _him_.  

He stroke Eggsy for a few agonizing minutes, relishing the little whines and pleas that escaped the younger man’s mouth and that Eggsy seemed to be unaware of. Harry suddenly moved down, kissing and sucking at Eggsy’s neck and nipples as he went. 

Eggsy tried to catch his breath, his body feeling like a giant, over-sensitized nerve that responded to the slightest of Harry’s touches. He would have been embarrassed had he had the mental capacity to think anything but _more_ and _Harry._   

Eggsy whined again as Harry licked and bit at his stomach, Eggsy’s cock brushing against Harry’s throat. Harry placed his arms on top of both of Eggsy’s spread legs to keep him from moving, pinning him like one of the butterflies he kept at home.

Harry finally looked up at Eggsy as he delved lower, kissing the tip of Eggsy’s cock. Eggsy purred at that, relishing the feeling of Harry’s tongue traveling down his shaft. Suddenly, the manengulfed him completely, groaning as he sank down all the way, his nose bumping against Eggsy’s stomach. 

Eggsy cried out as his back arched off the mattress, his hand coming to rest on Harry’s hair. “Fuckin’ hell, ‘arry,” Eggsy breathed out, panting harshly. 

Harry hummed again,tasting Eggsy before finally sucking, shivering as the taste of pre cum filled his mouth. He put his hand on Eggsy’s chest, keeping him pinned to the bed as he bobbed his head furiously, driving Eggsy to the edge only to stop his movement completely every time he felt Eggsy was too close. 

“Ah, ‘arry, please!” Eggsy begged, almost sobbing with need. “Please, ‘arry, please I need to-”

Harry squeezed the outside of Eggsy’s thigh in an attempt to settle Eggsy. Eggsy grabbed Harry’s hand, intertwining their fingers as Harry began sucking again, the feeling of Harry’s hand softly - dare he think, _lovingly_ \- squeezing his hand finally sending Eggsy over the edge.  

He screamed Harry’s name, closing his eyes as he shot into Harry’s mouth. He shuddered as his body tingled with pleasure. Harry moaned, greedily swallowing everything Eggsy had to offer. He kept at it until Eggsy grunted due to oversensitivity. 

Harry reluctantly pulled away, not ready to let go of this dream yet. Eggsy helped Harry settle back on the bed with shaky fingers, immediately licking his palm before enveloping Harry’s cock with his sticky hand. Harry groaned softly as Eggsy began stroking him, throwing his head back to give the younger man better access to his neck. 

Eggsy purred contentedly as he bit down on Harry’s neck, greedily marking him. He was sure that - had he not come a few moment ago - he would be getting hard at the mere though of Harry walking around the boat with a large hickey on his neck, signaling to everyone that he was taken. He bit down hard again on the other side of Harry’s neck, sucking on the man’s shoulder once he deemed Harry’s neck to be sufficiently marked by his teeth. 

Harry gripped Eggsy’s back, his nails digging deep into Eggsy’s flesh as Eggsy sped up his strokes. 

“Eggsy…” Harry choked out, the feeling of being marked in such a primal way by Eggsy making his lungs burn and his knees feel weak. 

Eggsy kissed him again, pushing his tongue into Harry’s mouth. He kissed Harry deeply, fucking the man’s mouth the same way Harry was fucking his fisted hand. Finally, with a breathless gasp, Harry came in Eggsy’s hand, his cum staining Eggsy’s fist and his abdomen. 

Eggsy brought his hand up, licking his hand clean. Harry watched him as if in a trance, sure that he was going to die of a heart attack after seeing such a delicious, and utterly _filthy_ thing.

Eggsy gave him a small wink as he pushed himself off the bed and sauntered off to clean himself in the bathroom. He came back soon enough, bringing with him a wipe to clean Harry. 

“Thank you,” Harry murmured, his voice gruff and sated. 

Eggsy smiled at him, sliding into the bed easily. He brought the covers up, covering both himself and Harry, still feeling pleasantly buzzed from his orgasm, his mind still not able to process much more than how good it felt to be covered by Harry’s warmth, by his scent. Eggsy closed his eyes, knowing that come morning he’d have to open his eyes and face reality, face the fact that this was never going to happen but, for the moment, he just wanted to enjoy Harry. 

———————————

Eggsy woke up with a start, stretching softly, almost lazily. He yawned contentedly, burying himself in the crook oh Harry’s neck. Suddenly, he froze, the memories of the night prior coming to the front of his mind. He opened his eyes slowly, feeling a small wave of relief course through him as he noticed that Harry was still asleep. 

Eggsy quickly squirmed out of Harry’s hold, biting on his lower lip as he ran to the shower. He opened the faucet and got in, not caring that the water was still cold. 

  _What was he doing? What had last night even meant?_

There was no indication that Harry actually liked Eggsy. He had never acted in a way that made Eggsy think that, not until this week at least, and that was entirely for the mission. 

_But what if it wasn’t?_

Eggsy shook his head, quickly dismissing the possibility. Harry didn’t date chavs like him; he dated posh men like Jack. That was just how the world worked. Eggsy wasn’t a fool; he didn’t believe in fairy tales. He had been scarred far too often and far too deeply by life to believe in any of that shit. 

No, Harry didn’t love him, at least, not in the way Eggsy did. He didn’t think of Eggsy every waking moment like Eggsy thought of Harry. He didn’t feel the need to know what were the little things that made Eggsy smile the way Eggsy though of Harry.

_But the man did always watch for those little things..._  

Eggsy bit his lip again, resting his head against the cold tile wall, letting the warm water run down his back. He couldn’t let himself hope. It was preposterous. It had been a one time thing for Harry - it had to be.  

Eggsy’s vision blurred as tears prickled his eyes. He didn’t want to be Harry’s one night stand. Hell he didn’t want to be the person Harry went for a good lay; he wanted to be the man’s _everything_.  

_But would Harry really use him that way? It wasn’t like him at all._

Eggsy shook his head again. He needed to stop being so naive. Harry probably thought he didn’t mean anything by it either. He didn’t know how much this would hurt Eggsy. He didn’t know Eggsy wanted oh so much more from him… but that was not reality, and Eggsy needed to end this - whatever _this_ was - before it was too late. 

With that in mind he exited the shower, not even realizing that he hadn’t actually done anything more than stand underneath the shower spray. He opened the door, holding back a gasp as he saw Harry walking towards the door, a small shy, hopeful smile on his face.

He approached Eggsy slowly, his smile fading as he noticed Eggsy’s guarded look. He approached the younger man, hesitantly reaching out to tilt his chin up. He loomed closer, feeling a pang of hurt as uncertainty settled in his bones.

_Would a kiss be well received?Why did Eggsy look so heartbroken?_

“Eggsy?,” Harry whispered, hating the way his voice sounded so… vulnerable. 

Eggsy swallowed hard, confusion sending him into autopilot. “Yeh should get ready. Ain’t that dinner tonight? Jack’s probably gonna make a move tonight so we should-”

Harry suddenly reeled backwards as if he had been burnt, unable to stifle his reaction. He looked away, not wanting Eggsy to see him like this. 

So Eggsy had finally seen the light, as Harry had feared all along. He had realized that - while he may be sexually attracted to Harry - he didn’t actually _want_ him. Harry cursed at himself; he had been foolish. He had known this would happen and yet he had walked into it like the fool he was. 

It stung more than he had expected. It burned him to his core, to his very soul, to know that his love would never be requited by the gorgeous being standing right in front of him. 

Fate was cruel indeed - as cruel as Merlin, if he thought about it, as his friend has knowingly sent him on this cursed mission. 

 Oh he’d most certainly be having a few words with Merlin once this was all over about how far he could take it with the teasing and the interfering. 

 Eggsy sucked in a small breath. "Harry-"

Harry, realizing he had been silent for far too long, suddenly stiffened, pushing past Eggsy without looking back. He closed the door behind him, opening the cold water faucet before stepping in, hoping that the cold would numb the ache in his lungs, in his chest, in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there you go; smut and angst to end your day lol. I hope you liked it!


	10. Walking away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Who did I think you were? Who did I think I could make you?  
> This is the oldest mistake, to confuse wanting with magic, silence is the undoing of every spell and we are experts in the unsaid."  
> \- Marty McConnnell

Harry got out of the shower, his lips set in a thin, straight line, revealing his grim mood. He wasn’t sure he was quite yet ready to face the younger man again. 

He had been a fool to indulge his desires the night prior. He had known this was coming; hell, he had known Eggsy wasn’t his to keep even as he kissed every part of Eggsy’s body that he could get his hands on. It had been a sweet yet terrible night that had changed Harry without him noticing. 

It was different than the many one nights stands he had had in the past. He had never cared for those he took to bed. If it was a mission then he did his job. He pleasured the other person, got what he needed and left. If it was to take his mindoff of things, then he’d fuck his chosen partner into the mattress, and leave in the morning with a polite smile. Harry rarely allowed himself to get attached to people. It was too complicated - a waste of time if he was honest. He had only had two serious relationships that had lasted no more than five years combined. And even then, he hadn’t been in love. He _had_ loved them, but he hadn’t been _in love_. 

With Eggsy, however, everything was different. The younger man had bewitched him from that very first meeting at the police station. Eggsy’s vibrant energy and beautiful smile had ensnared him. He had slept with countless people, that was true, but last night had been the first time he had actually _loved_ the man he had taken to bed. 

It had been…. marvelous to get to taste Eggsy, but right now Harry wasn’t sure if the aftermath was worth it. 

The man sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he put on a pair of pants. He exited the bathroom, walking straight to the closet. He pulled out his suit, quickly divesting himself of the tower to put on his trousers, shirt and jacket. He fixed his tie, his movements fast, robotic and precise. 

Eggsy watched the older man from where he was sitting on the bed, biting his lip. He wasn’t sure what was it that he had done wrong. He had expected Harry to be glad about the fact that he hadn’t brought up last night’s occurrence. He had thought the man would appreciate not having to shut down the idea, making their morning even more awkward. And yet it seemed that Eggsy had only been able to piss Harry off, considering that the man wouldn’t even look at him. 

_What the hell?_

Eggsy took a deep breath, hesitantly standing up. “Harry-” 

“I’m going to get a drink,” the man said drily, his tone not higher than a whisper. “I will come and pick you up later. You may do whatever you wish with your time. I will take care of securing the mark until dinner.”  

Eggsy stood up. “Wait, we need to talk-”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” the man said with a polite smile he forcibly plastered on his face as he fixed his cuff links. “You owe me no explanations, Eggsy. Last night was… a mistake that won’t happen again.” Harry swallowed hard, his mouth feeling like led, trying to clear the knot that suddenly formed in his throat. He briefly thanked the universe for granting him over twenty five years of experience that allowed him to keep a straight face, even if on the inside he was slowly cracking, his soul breaking. “We’ll finish the mission tonight, and we can finally stop pretending, since it’s clearly making you uncomfortable.”

Eggsy opened his mouth to protest but Harry didn’t give him the chance, turning around and walking towards the door in three long strides. He slammed the door behind him, feeling slightly guilty about how rude he was being. This really wasn’t Eggsy’s fault; the younger man did not deserve to deal with his sour mood, but he couldn’t bring himself to go back and apologize. 

He was tired, far too tired and hurt to think straight. He wanted a drink and he wanted this mission to be over so he could go back home to lick his wounds in peace. He just needed a few weeks to gather himself, a few weeks to mourn the loss of someone who had never been his to begin with. Harry absentmindedly nodded to himself; he would give himself a week to crash, to let the heaviness in his heart cloud him, and then he would shut it all out. He would lock away the all consuming love he felt for Eggsy, and all the hurt that came with it. He would hide it in the deepest corner of his mind and he would lock the door. 

He would do just like he had with Jack all those years ago; he would harden his heart and would concentrate on the work. He would be polite and friendly around Eggsy; he would be the spotless leader Kingsman deserved. 

Harry reached the bar, a small, cold smile tugging at his lips. Yes, he had done this before; he could do it again. It was simple enough; He would ruthlessly suppress all unwanted emotions, and he would finally be at peace. 

With a sense of sadistic tranquility Harry sat down, quickly motioning for the bartender to come to him. 

“We’re not open yet, sir,” the man said with a bashful smile. 

Harry gave him a pointed glare as he sat at the bar. “I would suggest you to reconsider that statement,” Harry said simply, a dangerous glint on his eye. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint one of the main patrons of this cruise line, now would you?”

The man’s eyes widened marginally. “Of course not, sir. I apologize. What can I get you, sir?” The man said politely. 

“Scotch on the rocks,” Harry said, looking almost bored. 

“Make that two,” Jack said suddenly, sitting right next to Harry. He turned to look at the man as their bartender served their drinks. “Drinking this early in the morning, Harry? Don’t tell me you’re having marital problems already.” 

The bartender looked between the two men, swallowing hard. This was obviously a very private conversion he was sure neither men would appreciate him listening to. He moved away to the other end of the bar, leaving the two men alone. 

“What the bloody hell are you doing here, Jack?” Harry all but growled, not giving a damn about niceties. 

Jack chuckled, taking a long gulp of his drink. “So you are having problems with that boy of yours...” He tilted his head to the side. “What is it? Is he cheating on you with someone younger and better than you?” 

Harry rolled his eyes, refusing to answer. He picked up his own drink, wondering how bad would it be if he simply killed Jack right now. 

“You know, I feel a bit insulted that you thought you and that boy could break into my room without me noticing,” Jack said in a casual tone. “I mean for god’s sake, Harry. I’ve been in the field longer than that kid has been alive.” 

“He is no kid, Jack,” Harry said with a sneer, inconspicuously turning on his signet ring. 

Jack took another gulp of his drink, his sharp eyes landing on Harry. “You like this one a lot, don’t you darling?” The man opened his jacket, flashing his shoulder holster fast enough to be unnoticeable to anyone that wasn’t Harry. “Come on, Harry. I know he’s one of your fucking agents, and I know you found my weapon so can we stop with the bullshit?” 

Harry leaned back, cursing at himself for not bringing his umbrella. “Why are you here, Jack?” 

“I will not hesitate to kill you or that boy, Harry, if you try to interfere,” Jack said icily, his eyes narrowing. “So if you want him to come out of this unharmed - which we both know you do -  then you will not get in my fucking way.” 

Harry’s features darkened, his mouth twisting into a snarl. “Don’t you dare bring Eggsy into this.” 

Jack chuckled coldly, finishing his drink. “I’m not the one that brought him here in the first place, Harry.” Jack stood up, coming closer to whisper in Harry’s ear. “You know it kind of makes me… jealous to see you so in love with the brat.” Jack placed his hand on Harry’s back, tracing his hand up slowly. “But then I remember that this is just his mission and that there is nothing you can offer him, nothing you can do to make him stay with you.” Jack smiled, letting his hand rest on the nape of Harry’s neck. “You are not what he wants, which is exactly why you are drinking away your sorrows.” Jack bit Harry’s earlobe, smiling at how stiffly the man was holding himself. 

They both knew he had hit a sore spot. 

“You know, you can always come have a bit of fun with me,” Jack said as he moved away. “I’m not opposed to fucking people I have to kill later and I know for a fact you’ve done shit like that before.” 

“Don’t confuse missions with pleasure,” Harry bit out, smiling to himself at the irony. He finished his drink in an instant, signaling for the bartender to come back.

Jack scoffed, shrugging minutely. “I’m going to give you until tonight to reconsider, only because you really were a good fuck and I’d hate to lose what could be a potentially fun night in the future.” Jack smiled mischievously at Harry before sauntering away. 

Harry brought the drink to his lips. His movements tense. He tried to shake Jack’s words off to no avail. 

The man had always been particularly good at finding people’s weak spots and exploiting them to their maximum. Still, his want to hurt Harry didn’t suddenly make his words false; if anything, it made them even more true.

Harry grunted, fighting the urge to slap himself. There were other things he had to worry about, such as the act Jack had just chosen Eggsy as his next target. While Harry knew he could take on Jack, he wasn’t about to test that with Eggsy as collateral. He would have to find a way to keep the younger man away for the night, until he could take care of Jack. 

Harry rubbed at his temples, kicking back his second drink, before standing up to leave. 

He needed to have a little chat with Merlin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay. My week has been absolutely crazy. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	11. Forced Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."  
> Theodore Roosevelt

Eggsy huffed and puffed as he paced around the room, his phone pressed tightly against his ear. He bit his lower lip, waiting for his friend to answer the phone. He had called her ten times already. It was rare for her to not pick up, which was starting to make Eggsy worried. 

Finally she answered, not sounding pleased at all. “You better have a fucking good reason to call at this hour, Eggsy,” She growled. 

Eggsy frowned. “It’s not even one o’clock yet, Rox.” 

“I’m in Beijing, Eggsy. I have a mission,” she snapped, her voice tense. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. You can go do… whatever it was you were doing. I’ll just-”

“I have ten minutes before the mark gets here,” she said, her voice softening. “So talk fast, will you?”

“Okay, okay,” Eggsy said, running a hand through his hair. “I slept with ‘arry, Rox.” 

“Oh finally,” she breathed out, sounding genuinely pleased. “You-”

“No, Rox, this ain’t a good thing,” Eggsy whined, resisting the urge to slap himself on the forehead. “This is just gonna muck up our relationship, Rox, and I can’t lose ‘arry because I couldn’t bloody keep my pants on,” Eggsy growled, letting his frustration show in his tone. “He don’t like me like that, Rox. It was just th heat of the moment, and then today-”

“Wait, did he tell you he didn’t want anything with you?” Roxy asked, sounding half confused, half insulted.  

“What? No,” Eggsy said, thrown by the suddenness of the question. “He didn’t say much, to be honest, but I don’t need ‘im to say anythin’ to know that-”

“Wait, Eggsy, _stop_ ,” Roxy commanded. “Tell me the story from the beginning, and for the love of god don’t skip anything, because you are not making any sense.” 

Eggsy took a deep breath, centering himself before saying. “So yesterday that asshole ex-boyfriend of ‘arry’s caught us on the hallway after we had sneaked into his room, so then ‘arry kissed me to provide us with a cover, cuz were married and all.” 

“Eggsy, hurry up,” Roxy said impatiently. “I don’t have much time.”

“Right, sorry, ok so then we kinda just tumbled into bed cause I kissed ‘im or he kissed me - I’m not really sure”

“Eggsy-”

“I’m gettin’ there, Rox, for fuck’s sake,” Eggsy huffed out. “The point is we kissed in the room again and then we just kinda slept together and I kinda freaked out later ‘cuz there ain’t no way in hell ‘arry wants anythin’ to do with me, and I love ‘im Rox. I _love_ ‘im.” Eggsy took in a deep breath, his eyes pricking. “So then I figured I should do the gentlemanly thing and not mention it again right, cause I didn’t want ‘arry to ‘afta go through the awkwardness of-”

“So you were afraid of being rejected,” Roxy deadpanned, not letting Eggsy give her his flimsy excuse. If he had fucked up then he was going to own up to his mistakes. 

Eggsy swallowed hard before sighing. “I just figured that if we ignored it, then I wouldn’t ‘afta lose ‘im, Rox, but it didn’t work,” he murmured with a pleading voice,. “’arry just got pissed when I ignored it, and he just… he left the room, Rox. He just _left_ and said that he’d come back later to finish the mission, ‘cuz I’m clearly too uncomfortable” Eggsy said with a growl, feeling angry.  “And, honestly, if he’s so thick that he can’t even-”

“Well, Eggsy, you _did_ reject him,” Roxy chimed in. 

Eggsy froze. “What?”

“What exactly did he do this morning?” Roxy asked gently. “Did he prompt you to ignore the topic or-”

“Um, no,” Eggsy murmured, scratching the back of his neck. “I took a shower and then he just - I don’t know - came closer and he was smiling but then-” Eggsy groaned.

“Then what?” She prompted quickly. 

“Then nothing,” the young man snapped. “He got kind of worried ‘cuz I seemed off I guess, and then I just told ‘im we should get ready and he seemed pissed-”

“Oh my god Eggsy,” she groaned in annoyance. “What the fuck? Merlin literally sent you both on an easy mission - romantic even - and you go and fuck it up.” 

“Hey, I didn’t - wait what?” Eggsy was completely thrown by Roxy. 

“Harry never said no to you, you idiot,” his friend said good naturedly. “ _You_ said no to _him_. Eggsy, he probably thinks you actually are uncomfortable right now. He’s probably angry at himself.” 

Eggsy rubbed at his temples, his head throbbing as he tried to make sense of the situation. “Rox, he doesn’t - it’s not like that,” he said, struggling to find the right words. “He doesn’t want a chav like me to-”

“Oh, shut up, Eggsy,” she snapped. Eggsy could practically hear the annoyed huff that usually came with her anger. “You clearly don’t know what he wants. I’ve been talking to Merlin and trust me when I say this; Harry’s mad for you.” 

Eggsy’s heart hammered in his ears as a hope he had never allowed himself to feel unfurled inside of him. Fuck, even the thought of Harry feeling an inch of what he felt made him feel like he could take on the world. The though of possessing - eclipsing - Harry’s love was like a balm that elated him, that made Eggsy’s world shine brighter. 

It was such a ridiculous thought, so far fetched, he hadn’t dared consider it before, but if Merlin had said that…

Could the man really be right? Did Harry actually love him?

“Fuck, Rox,” Eggsy breathed out, clasping his hand over his mouth. “I fucked up.” 

“Finally,” she breathed out softly, smiling softly. “I’m sure you can fix it. Just go talk to him.” She smiled to herself, knowing that Merlin would be thrilled once she told him the knew developments. “Okay, Eggsy, I have to go tag a mark.” 

“Oh, shit, yeah, you go do your thing Rox. We’ll talk later.” Eggsy breathed in deeply, feeling as if it was the first time he took a real breath since V-day. He smiled to himself. “Thanks again, Rox. You’re the best.” 

“of course I am,” she quipped. “Alright, bye for now.” 

Eggsy hung up, feeling lighter than he had all morning. He looked at the clock, trying to figure out where Harry could be. It was almost one o'clock now, but he was pretty sure Harry wasn’t about to go have lunch. Fuck, fining the man wasn’t going to be easy. 

Should he just wait for him to come and pick Eggsy up? The idea didn’t seem appealing in the slightest. It would take hours for Harry to come back, hours for him to beat himself about having slept with Eggsy. The younger man groaned again, walking towards the door. 

He needed to fix things, and he needed to fix them fast. 

————————

Harry put on his glasses, opening a small case which had been hidden behind one of the murals at the rear end of the cruise. 

“Good Morning, Arthur,” Merlin said pleasantly in his ear. “What’s the matter?”

“I need you to take Galahad out of this mission detail,” the man said, his voice tense. 

Merlin froze, adjusting the sound on his side, not believing his ears. “I’m sorry, what?”

Harry sighed, rolling his eyes. “Take Galahad out of the mission detail, Merlin, and find a way to keep him away from both myself and Jack for the rest of the day.”

Merlin frowned, feeling more lost than ever. “What the hell, happened, Harry?” 

Harry clenched his jaw, not sure how much he was willing to share at the moment. “Jack made a… very clear threat to end Eggsy’s life this morning.” Harry sighed, taking out an umbrella from the bag, as well as a pair of black guns. “I’m going to execute the operation, early, Merlin, and I want him as far away from Jack as possible when I proceed.” 

“He can help you take Jack down,” Merlin protested. “He is a good agent, Harry.” 

“I know that,” the man sneered, offended. “I proposed him, Merlin. I know he’s good, but I refuse to let Jack get his hands on him. I won’t let that happen.” 

Merlin swallowed, but said nothing, knowing that Harry’s fear was not unfounded. Jack was known among their ranks for his lack of morals and particular brand of viciousness, not to mention Harry had lost people to Jack before - something which the man still couldn’t forgive himself for. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Merlin said with a defeated sigh. “Where will you be located?” 

“Jack is currently scouting the pseudo ball where the dinner will take place tonight. I’m going to go there right now.” Harry fixed his tie, putting the bag back behind the mural. “It shouldn’t take me that long.” 

“Are you sure you can kill him?” Merlin asked, knowing that Harry would get him back for even daring to ask. 

“I can do my body job, Merlin,” Harry said stiffly, clearly not pleased by the question. 

“You know why I ask, Harry,” Merlin said gently but firmly. 

Harry sighed again. “I know, my friend. But you don’t need to worry. Eggsy’s safety is my priority.” 

Merlin nodded, pleased by the answer. There was nothing to worry about then. This time things were different; first of all, Jack had no control over Harry, unlike last time, and - more importantly - this time around Jack had made the mistake to threaten the man Harry had fallen for.

“Just try to not to have too many casualties,” Merlin insisted, knowing that he would not be able to go about his day with a clear conscience unless he did this. 

“Merlin, stop worrying, it won’t be like last time,” Harry murmured, his voice still stiff. “I know who he really is now.” 

“Right, okay.” Merlin cleared his throat. “Just be careful.”

“Of course,” Harry agreed immediately. “Oh, and one more thing, my friend.”

“What is it?” Merlin said, bracing himself for more bad news.

“I want you to make a note of not pairing me ever again with Eggsy,” Harry said, keeping his voice monotonous even as his lungs threatened to give out and his eyes burned. “Also, he no longer needs to report to me. He will be reporting to you.  You will be in charge of his briefings as well as of assigning him his missions. I want to be informed of when he is in the country, and I'd prefer if my meetings abroad are scheduled for those times.” Harry closed his eyes as he finished his little speech, feeling nauseous He just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. 

It felt like he was pronouncing his own death sentence, his self-inflicted torture to pay for his mistake. He was being both judge and executioner, castigating the defendant and preventing the plaintiff from ever having to see said defendant again. Both men knew exactly what Harry's orders would do; they would make it virtually impossible for Eggsy to come face to face again with Harry. He was putting Merlin in his place, placing him as a buffer that would keep both parties from talking for longer than a minute or two, assuming that they met on the hallway - which Harry could easily avoid. 

“May I ask why you’re pushing him away?” Merlin said, his tone half angry, half worried.

“Because I… I crossed a line I shouldn’t have crossed,” Harry whispered, sounding heartbroken. “I… fucked up, Merlin, but he doesn’t deserve to deal with the fallout.” 

_ He doesn't need to see me break.  _

“Oh my god, what did you do Harry?” Merlin breathed out, feeling a pang of sympathy for his friend.

Harry stopped in the middle of the hallway, turning to look out towards the sea as he steeled himself. “I slept with him,” he admitted, his tone grim. “I selfishly took him into my bed, Merlin.” Harry groaned, pinching his nose as he took a deep breath. 

Merlin frowned, suddenly feeling very lost. That had been the entire fucking point of sending the two idiots on the mission. 

_What the fuck?_

“I don’t-”

“He came to his senses this morning,” Harry said defeatedly, his gaze downcast. “He rightly realized that…. well, it doesn’t really matter. The point is that it is… best if we... if we maintain a professional distance from now on,” Harry said tensely, a self deprecating smile on his lips.

Merlin felt his blood boil as he heard Harry’s voice waver. He knew his friend better than he knew himself, and he knew exactly what that waver meant; Harry was hiding how much pain he was in. 

_Fucking hell_

Merlin had really thought Eggsy loved his friend. He turned away from his desk, his eyes wild. Had he read the situation wrong? Had he overstepped himself? Had he been the catalyst to his friend’s pain? 

Merlin wanted to scream. 

“Merlin stop blaming yourself,” Harry said, a more genuine smile coming to grace his lips. “It’s not your fault that we got carried away, and it’s certainly not your fault that my… infatuation is not reciprocated. I’ll be fine, Merlin.” 

_No, you won’t_ The magician wanted to scream. _You’ll isolate yourself. You’ll harden your heart as you always do. You won’t be okay, Harry._

“Merlin-” Harry tutted lightly. 

“I will call you later,” the magician said tensely, getting up in a whirl. “Go take down Jack. I’ll see what I can do to get you two back to HQ early. There might be a chance I can get you two to come separately.” 

“Thank you, Merlin,” Harry said earnestly. That would make things much easier. It would mean he could actually go back home and let out the pent up emotions whirling inside him, threatening to choke him. He could let them explode, let them burn his heart to the ground. 

He would get the chance to regroup, to get himself together again.

Harry checked his umbrella, looking as calm as usual, even though he was anything but. He looked at the impressive doors at the end of the hallway. He could go home soon; he only needed to take down Jack now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's taken me forever to update. I'm sorry.
> 
> However, I do hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	12. I'll take all that you can give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”  
> ― Robert A. Heinlein

Harry opened the door to the ballroom, his umbrella ready. 

“So you decided to come anyway,” a man sneered from behind him, the voice full of anger. “I really thought you were smarter than that Harry.” 

Harry spun around, aiming the umbrella at where the voice was coming from. “You really don’t know me, Jack, if you actually thought I’d let you kill the mark.” 

Jack tilted his head. “He’s just a business man, Harry. Why do you care so much?” 

“We both know he is much more than just a businessman,” Harry said dryly, following Jack’s movements, both men drawing a perfect circle with their feet. 

The man gave him a sadistic smile. “Is he more important than that boy of yours? He _will_ die, Harry. 

“This is between you and me, Jack,” Harry deadpanned. “This won’t be like last time.” 

“Are you still sore about that?” Jack asked, genuinely annoyed. “Harry that wasn’t personal. I was just doing my job. Your sister just happened to be collateral damage.” 

“Stop it with the bullshit, Jack,” Harry growled, his teeth bared and his eyes brimming with rage and contempt. His hate for the man was back full force. “We both know you wanted her dead.” 

“Well she was never nice to me,” the man teased, knowing exactly how to press Harry’s buttons.  “So I can’t say I was particularly tempted to save her.”

And with that, Harry snapped, lounging forward as an animalistic growl escaped him. Jack moved out of the way, a breathless laugh escaping him. He couldn’t help but feel slightly smug about finally getting Harry to drop his gentlemanly exterior to show the ferocious animal that he always kept chained inside of him. It was refreshing to see the man so inhumanly angry; it made him seem more… vulnerable. 

Of course, Jack knew that - while it was fun to see this side of Harry again - it had been a risky choice. The man had no control nor any sense of preservation when he allowed his rage to get the better of him. He was already a formidable opponent with a clear head; when angry he was just a machine. 

Harry came closer, throwing a jab with his umbrella, before grabbing Jack by the neck and squeezing tight. The other man flu his leg around in a roundhouse kick. Harry easily blocked him, but was forced to let go of the man’s throat. Jack grinned at him just as he tackled Harry to the ground. He punched the man in the ribs before straddling him. Harry covered his face with his forearms as the man threw punches, hoping to get Harry to relent. Finally, Harry threw all his weight to the side, sending Jack tumbling to the ground. He stood up quickly, throwing a mean kick to the man’s stomach before taking out his gun. Jack quickly moved out of the way, hitting Harry behind his knee, forcing the man to fall again. Harry slapped the man with his gun, taking his aim again jus as Jack kneeled and dived in for his arm. He pushed Harry’s arm up, the shot ringing in their ears. 

The man bared his teeth, twisting Harry’s wrist to get him to release the weapon. Harry quickly jabbed the man’s neck with an open palm, making Jack choke with his own saliva. The man fell backwards, still on his knees,just as Harry pulled out his other gun. The man pushed himself up, taking out a small knife with which he slashed Harry’s wrist. 

The man hissed in pain, taking the gun with his other hand. Jack rose to his feet, diving behind a table just as Harry shot his gun again. Harry beckoned closer gun still raised just as Jack dived undertake table, hidden by the table cloth. He came out the other way, grabbing a chair as he pushed himself up. He slammed the metal chair against Harry, sending the man back to the floor. Harry groaned in pain, his ears ringing. His ads twitched as he realized he had allowed his gun to fall. He forced himself to sit up to look for his gun. 

Jack crouched, wincing as he picked up one of the two guns. Harry slickly moved to the side, spotting his other gun a few feet away. He ran towards the gun, picking it up before diving to hide behind a table. His entire left side was on fire, the stinging pain of having a chair slammed against him leaving him dizzy and breathless. He spit blood to the side, knowing that he’d probably be extremely bruised tomorrow - if he got out alive of course. 

Harry finally came of his hiding spot, shooting at the one figure he saw. He heard Jack scream as the bullet hit him straight on the knee. Harry himself whimpered in pain, Jack’s bullet grazing his lower back. 

_Oh, the fucker_

“Oh, you fucking prick,” the man said, falling to his knees, shooting in Harry’s general direction once again . 

Harry suddenly raced to the man’s side, hitting him with the butt of the gun yet again. He pointed the gun at Jack’s forehead, the pain momentarily forgotten as all the pent up emotions he had been feeling the past week overwhelmed him and his need to _destroy_ augmented dramatically. He shot the man on the forehead, watching him collapsed like a rag doll. 

Harry sighed, feeling numb as he fell to his knees, his energy leaving him now that he wasn’t in danger anymore. He spit more blood to the side, his back throbbing in pain. He sighed again, feeling hollow. He had thought killing Jack would make him feel better, that it would take the edge off of the frustration he was feeling against himself. Sadly, it had only made him feel worse. He had proved that he was no better than Jack. 

He had killed a man whom he had once loved for a mission, just like Jack had allowed Harry’s sister to die because his priority was a mission. Hell, Harry had agreed to come on this mission, knowing full well what he felt for Eggsy, knowing that not even his self control would be enough. He had allowed himself to be swept up by emotion, compromising himself and his partner. 

Fucking hell, he needed to stop this and grow up. He clamped down on the guilt that was washing over him. It was fucking useless to wallow in self pity. Yes, he had fucked up; yes, he had lost Eggsy, but it was time to fucking move on. He was Arthur for fuck’s sake. His personal problems were insignificant, and - frankly - he was pretty sure Eggsy would appreciate it more if he just left it alone. 

With that in mind he got up, turning around only to freeze on the spot once he saw Eggsy standing on the doorway. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Harry said, realizing too late he had said it out loud. 

Eggsy looked furious. “What the fuck, Harry?” He stumbled inside. “Why the fuck did ya-” The younger man opened and closed his mouths a few times, no words coming out. “We were supposed to take ‘im down together.” 

Harry sighed, suddenly feeling too weary to talk. “I made an executive decision, Galahad.” 

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Eggsy snapped. “You could ‘ave gotten hurt, ‘arry. Why would you - You’re fuckin’ Arthur, ‘arry, you can’t be so reckless!” 

Harry gave him a leveled glass, squaring his shoulders. “I did not need assistance, Eggsy. It wasn’t a complicated-" 

“You’re _bleeding_ and have bruises all over your face,” Eggsy snapped, coming closer. “Yeh needed backup. Why do you-” 

“Enough!” Harry snapped, his tone final. “It doesn't matter anymore, Eggsy. The job is done. I’ll have Merlin pick us up as soon as possible so we can both go home.” 

A flash of hurt crossed Eggsy’s features. Harry always did this. He always fucking isolated himself when he felt uncomfortable or hurt. Suddenly Eggsy froze; Harry felt _hurt_. 

Well, that was as good confirmation as any. 

Eggsy suddenly lunged forward, grabbing Harry by his tie. He brought him down, kissing him with bruising force. He could taste Harry’s blood in his mouth, but he didn’t care. He was emboldened by Harry’s choked off moan, and he pushed harder against the man licking into his mouth. 

Harry felt like the earth had gone off kilter as his whole world reduced to Eggsy’s lips on his. He couldn’t fathom to comprehend Eggsy’s reasoning. It had been obvious yesterday that he had wanted Harry, but this morning he had made it clear that his physical want meant nothing, and yet here he was again, wrapping Harry around his little finger.  

But what was the point? It would be just like the night before. Eggsy would get his fill, and then reality would come crashing down on him. He would realize yet again why it was he didn’t want this and he’d pull away, and Harry wasn’t sure he could handle it a second time. Hell, he was having a hard enough time handling it now. 

But how to push Eggsy away? How could he pull him away when he felt like he would be physically ripped to pieces if he dared end the moment. How could he stop when he so desperately wanted Eggsy, so desperately wanted to be with him, _in_ him, even if it didn’t mean anything to the other man?

_That was precisely why he had to stop._ Eggsy deserved better than that. Eggsy needed to know he was worth more than a quick, messy one night stand that would only leave him with regrets, even if it was he himself who initiated said one night stand and he who ended it. 

Harry needed Eggsy to choose someone whom he loved, whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Harry needed him to be happy, even if that meant stepping away. 

He needed to stop this for Eggsy. 

Harry mustered up the last vestiges of self control that he had and moved his hands away from Eggsy’s hips, pushing him away softly. “Stop, Eggsy. This is not…” Harry shook his head, at a loss for words. 

“This is not what?” Eggsy whispered, a trace of doubt making its way into his heart. 

Harry sighed, shaking his head. “Come on, we should head back to our room. We don’t need people finding us here.” He turned around and walked out the door, clearly expecting Eggsy to follow. 

————————

They reached their room without much of a hiccup. Harry closed the door behind Eggsy, turning to hide in the bathroom.  

Eggsy immediately blocked his path, placing his hand softly on Harry’s chest. “Wait, it’s my turn to talk.” He took a deep breath, suddenly feeling nervous. “Look, ‘arry, I’m sorry about this mornin’ I thought-”

Harry shook his head. “Eggsy, I told you already you don’t owe me an-" 

“Shut up and listen to me,” Eggsy said, placing a finger on top of Harry’s lips. “I was scared yeh didn’t want me, a’right? I was afraid yeh was gonna say we shouldn’t be together, so I gave yeh a way out, but-”

Harry looked at, Eggsy, clearly confused. “What?”

“I love yeh,” Eggsy finally breathed out. “And I don’t know if yeh feel the same, but fuck, ‘arry, I just need yeh to-”

“Eggsy this is not a good idea,” Harry immediately breathed out, his body on automatic. He couldn’t allow himself to hope, not only to fall again. “You don’t actually want this. Trust me, you-”

Eggsy shook his head. “I know what I want, ‘arry,” Eggsy pushed, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “I want yeh. I’ve wanted yeh for so long-”

“Eggsy-” Harry breathed out, sounding almost wounded. “There is nothing… You won’t be happy with me. You should be with someone younger, someone… less scarred by life. You need someone to make you laugh and-" 

“Stop it,” Eggsy said, pushing Harry against the wall. “Yeh make me laugh, yeh make me a better man, ‘arry. For fuck’s sake I don’t want nobody else. I don’t give a fuck about yer age, ‘arry.” He buried his head in Harry’s chest. “I love yeh.”  

Harry breathed out, holding onto Eggsy. Could he let go? Could he accept Eggsy’s love? Could he accept the possibility of getting hurt? 

Harry looked down into Eggsy’s bright blue eyes, realizing that yes, yes he could. He would take the hurt, if it meant he got to lose himself in the brilliance of Eggsy’s eyes, the beauty of his mind. He would take the pain, if it meant he got to care for Eggsy’s heart. He would take everything Eggsy was willing to give for as long as Eggsy would be willing to give it. 

Harry suddenly kissed him, feeling an almost overwhelming need to wrap himself in Eggsy’s warmth. 

 Eggsy moaned, letting his hands drop to Harry’s back to bring him closer. Suddenly, he froze, his eyes snapping open. “For fuck’s sake, Harry, yeh are bleedin’."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, but I've been/ I am terribly sick. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	13. So What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you have sex just for physical pleasure, you are ashamed and guilty at one point of life or another, but when you make love to someone who means everything to you, you are always proud of it. Never in life, not even a single time, you regret that time and the moments spent with that person. You will always rejoice it and remember it with equal passion and joy.  
> \- Mehek Bassi

“Ah, yes,” Harry murmured sheepishly, pulling away slightly. “It’s not a mortal wound though,” he said, trying to appease the younger man.

Eggsy gave him an unimpressed look as he circled Harry to check the wound. “Take off your jacket,” he said immediately.

Harry sighed but complied, taking off his jacket with a wince, before starting to remove his shirt, which he was sure was tinged with blood. Eggsy waited for Harry to take off his shirt to move closer, inspecting the wound.

He frowned slightly, licking his lips. “But how did the bullet graze ya? The suits are bulletproof.”

Harry gave him a tight smile as he turned his head to look at Eggsy. “Jack has a few pistols and sniper guns which contain bullets meant to rip through both vests and bulletproof fabric.

“Fuckn’ psycho is what that bastard is,” Eggsy grumbled as he walked to the bathroom to bring a gauze and rubbing alcohol. He took Harry’s hand and walked towards the bed, sitting down and making Harry turn to face away from Eggsy.

He disinfected the wound, careful not to press Harry’s skin too hard as he did so. He finally pressed the fresh gauze against Harry’s skin, carefully plastering the scotch against the man’s skin.

Eggsy took a deep breath, finally looking away from the wound to appreciate Harry’s back. The man had quite a few scars there. There was one near his right scapula which looked like it had been particularly painful. Still, regardless of the scars, Harry’s back was beautiful. His muscles were ridiculously well defined, and his broad shoulders made Eggsy’s mouth water. Eggsy hummed appreciatively, pressing a kiss against one of Harry’s moles on his lower back.

The man gasped softly, clearly not expecting the move. He attempted to turn but Eggsy held him there, kissing bits of his lower back as he made his way up. He traced his hands up and down Harry’s ripped forearms, soon dipping his hands lower to touch Harry’s pulse point on his wrists.

The man said nothing as Eggsy pushed him down to sit on the bed, closing his eyes with a purr as Eggsy massaged his scalp while kissing his jaw. The younger man dropped to his knees, biting Harry’s chin before moving to his neck.

He felt an irrational need to make this as good as possible for Harry. He still felt bad about what had happened. If only he hadn’t been so much of a coward and actually talked to Harry about his feelings, then he wouldn’t have hurt the man in the first place. He wouldn’t have hurt him enough to walk away, and then Jack wouldn’t have gotten a chance to hurt Harry.

Harry suddenly bit his lip, bringing him back to reality by tipping his head back to kiss him deeply. Once he finally pulled away he murmured “You are thinking too much.” The man fixed his hair, looking deliciously disheveled. “Eggsy, I told you already, if this is not-”

“Oh don’t ya fuckin’ dare end that sentence,” the younger man growled as he came to straddle Harry’s lap. He pressed his erection again Harry’s hip, rolling his hips with promise. “I want yeh, a’right? I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.” Eggsy nipped at Harry’s earlobe, a mischievous grin gracing his lips. “But since yeh ‘ad to go get your posh ass hurt, I guess that ain’t happening tonight.”

Harry growled, grabbing Eggsy’s hips with more force than necessary as he rolled his hips harshly, rubbing his hardness against Eggsy’s flat stomach, proving to the younger man that while he was indeed injured, that didn’t mean he couldn’t fuck Eggsy properly thank you very much.

Eggsy just laughed delightedly, letting Harry rub the edge off, until finally he forced Harry to lie down, by bringing his weight down on the man. “I ain’t gonna risk yeh actually gettin’ injured, so yeh are just gonna ‘afta suck it up and let me do the work tonight.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed, seeing Eggsy’s filthy grin for what it was. “What do you have in mind?”

Eggsy just smiled at the man, licking a stripe up Harry’s neck. “Why don’t you lay with yer back again the headboard,” Eggsy purred out as he stood up, moving to the other side of the bed to pick up his tie.

Harry complied, giving Eggsy a curious look as he watched the younger man bend down to pick up his tie. Harry’s lips dried as Eggsy came back to the bed and settled atop of Harry’s legs.

Oh

Harry felt his cock stir at the sight, warm desire spreading through his body almost immediately. While he had never been particularly fond of anything that involved getting tied up, he found himself Eggsy to do it. There was something about the lack of control that had always kept him from letting previous partners do that. However, this was Eggsy. Eggsy, who was now his to keep. Eggsy, whom he loved and trusted with his life.

He offered his wrists willingly, much to Eggsy’s delight. He kissed the inside of Harry’s left wrist, biting softly at the skin, before repeating the same motions with Harry’s right arm. He then proceeded to tie both of Harry’s hands to the railing of the headboard, making the man bend his arms. Harry rested his head against his wrists, which were one on top of the other. Eggsy smiled at him, dipping his head to suck at Harry’s nipple. Harry gasped, throwing his head back, immediately thankful for the cushion his forearms provided.

Eggsy kept going for a little bit, thrilled at the fact that he could make Harry moan so wantonly, so openly. Fuck, he wanted the man to lose his cool so badly. Harry bared his teeth, a groan escaping him. There was something absolutely feral about Harry, something that he always kept hidden under the wraps that Eggsy was just dying to play with.

The younger man finally pulled away, thanking heavens that the room came equipped with lube - something which, when he had first realized, had actually been quite creepy. He quickly jumped to the side, giving Harry an eyeful of his behind as he roamed around the drawer in the night stand.

Harry closed his eyes, willing his own arousal to subside for he was ridiculously close to coming. He had no idea what was the matter with him. He had more than enough experience to last quite a while, but having the privilege to be touched by Eggsy, to feel the younger man’s moving against his own body, was proving to be a bit too erotic for Harry.

Eggsy finally settled back down, bracketing Harry’s thighs with ease. He squirted some of the lube onto his hand, warming it up with his fingers. He reached behind himself, rubbing his own hole softly, teasing himself. He moaned obscenely once he finally breached his entrance, watching Harry’s eyes widen at the sight. The man’s lustful gaze zeroed in on Eggsy’s fingers, turning darker and darker by the second. He licked his lips once Eggsy added a second finger, moaning with Eggsy though for different reasons.

Never had he seen something so filthily beautiful. It was fucking mouthwatering. Harry moaned as Eggsy rolled his hips in time with his fingers, bucking his own hips unconsciously. Fuck, he needed to touch Eggsy. He needed to feel Eggsy’s fingers dipping into his hole. He needed to touch Eggsy’s cock, his thighs. He wanted everything and yet there was nothing he could do. He struggled softly against the tie, knowing that - being a kinsman agent - he could get out of his hold in a few seconds flat, but Eggsy didn’t want that.

Eggsy wanted him there, all tied up, watching the show Eggsy was putting on just for him, and fuck if Harry was going to ruin the younger man’s fun. With the last vestiges of self control he had, he valiantly resisted getting out of his confines, watching instead as Eggsy threw his head back, fucking himself on three fingers.

Finally he removed his fingers, whimpering at the loss. He look at Harry through heavy lidded eyes, knowing exactly how much his little stunt had affected Harry. He smiled again, a tarty little smirk that made Harry’s cock twitch again as his desire skyrocketed.

Eggsy finally moved forward, holding himself up, hovering for a moment on top of Harry’s cock. He kissed Harry, letting the man fuck him with his tongue the way he would with his cock. Eggsy moaned, finally sinking down on the man’s throbbing shaft, sitting still for a moment as he got used to the feeling of fullness.

“Eggsy,” Harry growled in warning, not able to take any more teasing.

Eggsy nodded softly, ready to put them both out of their misery. He pushed himself up only to slam himself back down on Harry’s cock, moving his hips in a circular motion.

“Ah!”Harry gasped out, his eyes closing involuntarily as his body seized with pleasure.

Eggsy moved frantically up and down, grasping Harry’s shoulder as he leaned forward, finding the perfect angle to hit his prostate every time. “Fuck, fuck, Harry. Fuckin’ hell,” Eggsy breathed out, accentuating each word with a particularly vicious movement of his hips as he impaled himself on Harry’s cock.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous,” Harry moaned, unable to keep himself from thrusting up, hard. “Eggsy I need - Fuck I need more-”

Eggsy finally undid the knot tying Harry’s wrists, yelping as the man immediately surged forward, toppling Egsgy backwards. Eggsy landed on his back, all the air he had in his lungs leaving him as Harry kissed him with bruising force, grabbing Eggsy by the hips before slamming into Eggsy.

Eggsy cried out, arching his back as Harry continued to thrust in and out. Eggsy clutched at Harry’s biceps, hiding his face in the crook of the man’s neck where he proceeded to leave a rather visible bite mark.

He smiled at the reddened skin, feeling a bit smug. He would get to flounce Harry around. Everyone that saw him would see Eggsy’s teeth marks. They would know that Harry was very much taken.

“Eggsy,” Harry groaned, thrusting in again. His voice wavered, his words falling on Eggsy skin as if they were love confessions. With that, Eggsy cried out Harry’s name, closing his eyes as he let go and jumped over the edge, forgetting how to breathe.

Harry thrust in a few more times before groaning out Eggsy’s name, feeling pleasure shot up from his cock, leaving his body warm and pliant. He emptied himself inside Eggsy, feeling Eggsy’s own come splayed on his stomach.

They stayed like that for a while, just breathing together, trembling due to the force of their orgasms. Harry finally pulled away, getting up with considerable effort to find wipes. He came back after a few minutes, manhandling Eggsy to lay down with his head on one of the two pillows. He cleaned him again, kissing him softly as he laid down next to him.

Eggsy immediately scuttled closer, wrapping a leg around Harry’s waist. “Fuck, we shoulda done that ages ago,” he murmured groggily.

Harry hummed, kissing his forehead. “Are you sure about this, Eggsy?”

Eggsy tensed in Harry’s arms. “Thought we had agreed that I wanted this, babe.”

Harry bit his lower lip, tracing patterns on EGgsy’s skin with his fingertips. “I just… I love you, Eggsy, and I don’t share.”

Eggsy grinned at him. “Good, ‘cause I don’t share either.” He kissed Harry again. “I already told yeh, ‘arry. I love you.”

“Right, okay,” Harry said, feeling almost giddy. “Well, Merlin will nit let me hear the end of this.”

Eggsy buried his face in the crook of Harry’s face. “He and Rox kinda planned this. That’s what she said last time I talked to ‘er.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I bet there’s a bet going around, and Merlin forced his hand to win the bet.”

Eggsy suddenly started laughing, not putting it past the magician to do such a thing. “Well, we still ought to thank ‘im.”

Harry hummed noncommittally, distantly thinking how to make the magician’s life harder with this new development. Perhaps he’d just leave his glasses on one of these nights and let the his friend get an eyeful. He would get chewed out by Merlin, that was for sure, but scarring him like that seemed a fair trade off.

“oh god, yeh are already schemin’,” Eggsy said in a playful tone, kissing the tip of Harry’s nose. “SO what happens now? When do we leave?”

“Well, the cruise is supposed to go on for another two days. I was going to have Merlin retrieve us early, but I don’t see a need for that anymore.”

“So we get two whole days on this boat?” Eggsy said, his eyes giddy with excitement.

“Yes, we do,” Harry said with an indulgent smile.

“Sick,” Eggsy murmured, resting his head on Harry’s chest. “Rox’s gonna be so jealous.”

Harry chuckled, finally allowing himself to drift off to sleep, clutching the younger man’s hips, not willing to let go ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah it seems we have reached the end! 
> 
> I thoroughly enjoyed writing this impromptu story, and I really hoped you enjoyed it too :)

**Author's Note:**

> SO against my better judgement I decided to start a new fic, because I've been wanting to do a pretend to be together fic for a long time, and I really wanted to do it from Harry's POV (mostly).
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. It's going to be a wild ride!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always very much appreciated.


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